Reporting From Work

Here I Am!
Single staffed and i love it.. for the most part...
The boys are doing AMaZing considering how they were acting last time i was on shift. I am proud... happy..
It is a tad frustrating not being able to take breaks.. i kinda need my Bidi's.. but i know it will be over soon and I will be able to have coverage...
JP is gone for the week.. so I only get to talk to him at night.. no visits.. just short chats whenever we have the time...
One of the boys RAN up the road, shouting he had to talk to Thompson (the bossman) about his eating/smell issues... He was VERY upset and before Thompson had a chance to come out to talk, the kid had already pushed me a couple times.. i ALMOST fell down the hill but managed to keep my balance.. meanwhile the rest of the group was down at the bottom of the hill was falling apart.. one was trying to take of the others glasses (as he always does) and people were shouting and it was mild chaos.. but quickly we regained status and headed off to the cabin.
One of the boys was caught looking at porn last night.. poor thing was rather ashamed.. I told him that it was expected for a teenage boy to be looking at porn. PERFECLY normal.. just not appropriate timing..
Today
I seriously was VERY near tears (in fact a few excepted) I was extremely frustrated.. we had Kitchen clean up last night at dinner, today at breakfast AND again at lunch. Single staffed, it was hard to make sure everyone was on task, running in the kitchen to make sure dishes were being washed and they weren't bothering Jenny, the cook.. and then running out into the dining hall to make sure they were sweeping and stop them from humping the brooms, etc. AND my favorite camper here was acting as though he were pissed at me. I really get upset and hurt when people ignore me. THAT is one way to make me cry.. to NOT tell me what is wrong.. what i did wrong.. how i can help...
BUT at the same time, I challenged two of the campers.. took a risk.. had 2 of the kids who were easily frustrated with each other work together on pots and pans.. which meant they had to work TOGETHEr.. talk to each other.. be in close proximities.. AND they did it! no problems! no worries! One of them talked to me afterwords and was surprised, proud and pleased with what he had done.. and his ability to interact/work with the other kid who usually got on his nerves.
:)
Playing down in the canoes is a wonderfully fun activity too.. I always end up getting dumped/thrown in... I dont plan on it, i just happen to be in the wrong place at the wrong time..
All in all.. i am proud of how my kids are acting... and pleased that i have made it this far single staffed :)
As i said.. it was hard... is hard.. having to be within sight of all 8 teenage boys at all times.. when a lot of the times they want to do different things.. I am trying so hard to make their lives fun here.. I know this is not a happy or fun place to be.. i just want to make it decent for them.. It hurts me that they have all these restricitons on them... different people have different releases.. one kid here LIVES for skateboarding.. but he is banned from it because it is not allowed until he is level 3.. which may take at least a couple weeks.. meanwhile his mood tend to flow downhill.. I try to help give him alternative outlets..
I mean... IMAGINE being a teenager and having to be under the watch of a staff member at all times.. having meals served FOR you.. living in CLOSE proximities with 7-8 other people...
Anyway.. signing out now.. toodles!

>??????????
>?????
hello everyone.. anyone out there/?

Incubus "Love Hurts"

...im addicted to this song...
... for the moment...

long days between the kid time :/

no gas.. cant go home.. cant visit anyone.. no one will visit me..

i cant sleep ether.. the past 2 nights i cant get to sleep until 6:30 or later... and then its restless.. and only lasts a couple hours..

i watched an amazing movie.. that i recomend to EVERYONE... "Love Me If You Dare" .. a French movie.. made by the same people as Amelie... it is also a Sundance Film.. my favorite kind.. It is riviting.. shocking..beautifull.. inspiring.. scary.. all at once.. and more..
go watch it.. rent it.. buy it.. it will change your night..

My other job is at a Paint your own pottery studio... and there is regular clay to play with.. a pottery wheel.. mosaics to be made... pottery to be panted.. floors to be swept.. people to entice.. kids to inspire.. it is lovely.. when i am there..
I find that a lot of the time i am there.. if the owner is there too i play with her son, a 15 month old adorable little boy..

other than that.. days are slow.. i pass the time visiting thrift stores looking for trinkets and fun things to add to my plcae.. dreaming up fantasies of how my place could look.. of how my life could be,,,

I dont know if i can leave Talisman actually..
did i tell about the boy who crumbled into tears in my arms? the other boy who looks in my eyes when he sings "I wanna hold your hand"? or the fact that i skip off at night sometimes to visit a guy that i dont know what our status is, but he wont come visit me when he is on duty and i am home alone lonely and wanting? or that i survive off canned fruit, wine, salsa and cocoa packets when i am not at camp? or that the kids groan when i have to go take a break because it means they are stuck with Zack? or how it broke my hear that one of the kids refused to talk to me and wouldn't tell me why-to the point that i broke down into tears-which made him realize how much he hurt me and reconciled? or that i spent all of last night worrying that i burnt down my new job because i forgot to turn off a set of lights? that i dread my days off because i know the nights are going to be long and cold and empty to the point that i sometimes have to drink wine and have a couple bidis before i can actually think of sleeping-sometimes crying myself to sleep?

dont ever compare life to movies.. or lyrics.. it will never come close to the magic they portray.. or so i have learned..
maybe someday
i do have dreams
dreams that i will actually be able to follow through on my hopes and plans to visit friends and relatives around the country? to travel to Mexico to visit Diego and Karin? to fulfill my dream of having a kitten to love me like i need to be? to love and accept myself for who i am? to look in the mirror and not turn away in disgust?
blah blah blah

anyway

MGNT "Electric Feel"

and

MGNT "Time To Pretend"

and


Citizen Cope "Bullet and a Target"

and

N.E.R.D. "Spaz"

are the songs i play to try to buoy me out of my icky mood...
sometimes they work.. other times i revert back to my mellow songs...
Ben Harper "In your Eyes"


30 SEconds to Mars "the Kill (acoustic)"

gooodbye boys.. until next Sunday...

I have to say.. im super proud of my boys these last couple days! :)
We went to the Walk for Autism here in Asheville. I was a tad nervous about their apathy and constant negativeness "I dont wanna go" and "That is so stupid"
I kept hammering it in their head that they were the only group here to get invited to go.
They woke up early Saturday without much complaint.. only a few hiccups in the dining hall at breakfast... we piled on the bus and i passed notes like a little 3rd grader to a couple of the boys and we laughed along to funny songs and one of the boys went to the walk with his face made up as the joker. I processed with him for a bit before hand, making sure he knew that there may be social consequences but at the same time he would get a lot of positive attentiona nd pleasant laughter and he would make a lot of poeples day.
He went through with it :) I am proud of him...
The scariest thing though...
was when we were missing one of the boys.. .
it is really scary edging through the crowds of poeple looking for one person who is not there... i saw people laughing.. i saw people talking.. but it was all a big roar of noise in my head.. the faces and bodies moving were all a blur.. and then i found in.. waiting in line for cotton candy... nonchalant.. trying to act cool.. like any 15 year old boy would..
That afternoon, Zack and i had to crack down.. lay down the law.. set some rules:
Instigating others and cursing: 1 warning and then their cd player was taken away (or iPod).. if it happened during meal time they had to pack out (sit outside in silence during the meal) .. if it happened at nighttime or near bedtime they had to sleep outside.
The boys were, as expected, pissed off.. I talked with them about it and they made it clear they were NOT mad at me ("who could be mad at you Penny?") and were instead mad at the camp
Which is perfectly understandable..
They cannot swear (which, for many of them, is their only safe outlet for frustration)... they have to be watched by staff 24/7... they have to do chores (clean toilets, sweep, clean sinks, etc.).. they dont have their moms cooking... they dont have their freinds.. there are no girls (except the 4 girls in another group and then a few staff)... they cannot skateboard.. they cannot take their iPods when they walk places..
everything, so it seems, is taken away from them.. all their choices.. all their freedom.. all their independance.... they are able to earn many privilages though, they have to show that they can handle them and deserve them... which is why i am a little lax on certain things.. i pick my battles... let a few things slide that are not particularly relevant.. give them treats (gummi bear trivia) and make sure i do everything i can to make their time here pleasent.. fun.. and memorable.. even though they are working on hard issues..
we went to the pool. I was out writing dailies.. (letting administration know tidbits of how the kids are acting and behaving or funny stories so that they have things to talk about when they have to talk to the kids parents) and the boys started splashing me.. I quickly put away my papers and got a little closer .. before i knew it i was pushed in the pool.. in my clothes.. for the next half hour, i could not get out of the pool for more than a minute before i was pushed back in by one of the boys.. :) highlight of all of our day...
When i left this morning, 6 of the 8 boys came up to give me a hug goodbye, not wanting me to leave.. saying it wont be as much fun wihtout me..
it was sad.. but sweeet.. it is nice to know that people do look up to you.. it is nice to be a mentor.. a role model.. a source of comfort..

Rough Day...

Ohhh mannnnnnn..
These kids..
One kid... he storms out of every class... he slams doors.. he walks away and hides.... he is VERY thirsty for attention. I find that i spend a LOT of time processing issues with him.. and it is ALWAYs the same issue... I sit down and talk with him, but he does ALL the talking.. and when i try to remind him that he is part of a group and is supposed to be with his group.. or he is missing class and that means his school points are going down, then he storms off again.. this time even further.. He also tends to be rather rough with other students.. even me. He gets my attention by grabbing the handle on top of the backpack (the med pack) and pulling me backward.. or placing his hand on my shoulder and pushing me until we are alone..... we are working on many many issues with him.. including talking him out of running away.
2 of the teachers were off today so chaos ensued. One kid from another cabin ran away so A LOT of the staff had to go running/walking/driving/4 wheeling all around to find him.. The police brought him back 5 hours later.
As a result, classes faltered due to there being no teachers and not enough staff to deal with the issues the kids were dealing with. I never got a break to pee or anything until 3. And i relished that break.
the lowest functioning kid here, its his birthday today.. and he still echos what everyone says.. which includes staff.. and we have to keep reminding him that he is NOT a staff member.
We had lunch clean up today.. everything went fine until the end (as usual) when a few were done and most were not. We had a couple storm outs.. i processed with them and then there was another freak out and i had to follow them and redirect them back to where the group was. Everyone wants to talk to Penny.. not Zack..
I guess thats flattering... that they all would rather talk to me and swear under their breath when it comes time for me to finally take a break.
I just want so badly to have fun with them... i let a few things slide.. but I am getting better, I sent a lot of them out of group for not following group process.. I managed to get them do what they did NOT want to do...
But i am still at a loss... because apparently.. we have the worst behaving group on campus (out of 3)
AND we are supposed to be representing Southeast Journeys at the Walk for Autism tomorrow. I'm not going to lie.. im kinda nervous taking them there.. with three of the kids entertaining the idea of running away... saying how much they hate this place...

on another note :)
I left last night at 10 and didnt get back until 6 this morning.. PARTLY to see if my co-staff could handle the kids at night and kick them out if they got too noisy.. partly because i needed some time with JP.. but i was soooo sleepy.. i ended up crashing at his place.. :) he bought me my favorite flavor ice cream to share.. :) No one has ever really done that for me before.. returning the constant favors i dole out to people.. Thats all i ask.. is for someone to care enough to take note of what I like and do something about it.. rather than accept all the things i give them with nothing to return...
ahh well.
OH!
Inapprorpates last night:
"Why do some people LIKE getting spanked?"
"Do girls like it better when a guy strokes or swirls down there?"
....
yep...
i think they ask a lot of these questions to get a reaction out of us..

MY turn!

Onnnn another note..
I got a second job from 2-6 twice a week at a place that I have aLWAYS dreamed of working at... Its a paint your own pottery place.. BUT this one also has 2 pottery wheels that can be played with for a small fee per hour (though as a employee i get it free) AND make your own mosaics.

I also got my record player working.. so my nights off I jam to old LPs and records.. Beatles, Led Zepplin, Allman Brothers, Eric Clapton (Still can't get over that book i read about him and George Harrison and Pattie Boyd)

I still sleep on the papasan chair much to many peoples horror (IT MESSES UP YOUR BACK!) it is just so much more comfortable and convenient. I curl up in in it and let my music help me drift to sleep and my bed is WAY to large and lonely. I feel safe and comfy in my papasan chair DESPITE the fact that i continue to fall out (im not the most graceful or balanced person)

There is no way my OPPOSITE co-staff and i will be able to actually HANG OUT much... but we keep in contact every night.. our excuse is to keep up with the kids. but i know its more.. and sometimes i can tell he thinks it too.. since he DOES live right next to me.. on the long 3 days off i had i slipped in the back door and took his pillow to sleep with.. theres something comforting about sleeping with the smell of someone you miss.. (I didnt really have to sneak in, Zack (co-staff) was there..i just didnt care to talk to him about Broadway shows and how we were going to do this and that))

I also feel quite needy at times.. for people to talk to.. to hug.. to keep in contact with people.. Its not so bad when i'm here with the boys. They do their share of showering me with attention.. and the kids in the other groups too.. i seem to be a tad popular due to the fact i have been here 2 summers already and stories have been floating around about my "flower child"ness and care free and fun and spontaneity and relaxed way.. I guess..

One of the boys actualy called me a "flower child"
Other boys ask me if i smoke weed.
Other boys ask me other things.. which i ignore and if they keep it up then i inform them that they are here to learn about themselves not about me... but yet... I still have a hard time being serious and keeping a straight face... and it breaks my heart to dole out consequences for their actions. I always want to give them another chance.. but I'm doing it...

They also ask me about my accent and if i am from England.. or think i am from Canada due to the abOOT or :lets go OOTside:
One of the other boys has taken to staring at my eyes and being amazed at how they change colors.. now all the kids keep up with the color of my eyes...

GROUP!!

Y=Im back with my boyz!
Things are SOMEWHAT the same.. .but other things have changed
we had to have group nearly twice every class due to a couple of the kiddos thinking Group as a joke. So whenever they called it, whether it be joking or not, I hauled them up out of class and we grouped up outside while they tried to think of an issue to talk about during class. EVERY issue was aimed at one of the lower-functioning boys. It became group after group of attacks and accusations on him.. and he cant even help it for the most part. Poor thing.
He is the one who repeats what others say... usually in a funny voice or accent... and has this evil cackle that he tends to use rather than his real laugh. I, mysdelf am trying to figure out if this is a manifestation of

echolalia

or if he really does understand the extent of what he is doing. Sometimes i feel as though I am getting through to him, other times he sits and stares... and no matter what, less than 5 minutes later it happens again. The other boys have had it with him and are threatening hitting/slapping him across the face. I just look at them, "I really hope you dont have to resort to that in order to deal with this. I know you know better." and then explain to them that everyone is working through their own issues and not everything in life can accommodate your needs and wants.

Anyway..
My favorite dude here.. we have good chats,,, but the new comer has influenced him in a negative way... they do have many things in common (both stopped smoking shortly before they got here... both listen to same music and play Base guitar.. and have had a history with weed-or so they say)
Their conversations revolve around weed or cigarettes with the occasional sexual inappropriate comment (all in giggles.. but still)
I am proud though, he still i able to step up when he needs to.. he still sticks up for other campers who need it... he still hosts the sing along on the couch... he still is super smart and not afraid to ask for help..

Inappropriate last night...
"you know how girls have 2 holes down there in their p---- area? One is for pee and the other is what we stick our d---s in. What would happen if a guy stuck his d--- in the whole where pee comes out? Its sooooo tight man!!"
Right.. first off, i corrected him that there were 3 holes... asked him to use their proper names, not slang, and then my co-staff (a male) kicked in and finished the answer.. i was surprised he would know so much.. considering him being a guy and all...

Our lower functioning boy also does not know what is appropriate, etc. So, after Zack and i got the kids in bed, I asked Zack if i could step out for a bit. The kids overheard me and started going "ooohhhh where are you going?!" and making the gestures as though they were taking a smoke. I dutifully ignored them. As i was getting up to leave, the boy sat up in his bed and shouted "SHE's GOING OUTSIDE TO PLEASURE HERSELF!" (there are no solid walls between the cabins..) in no time all 3 cabins were in hysterics.. including me.. i had to leave...
apparently one of the older boys had told him to say that.. .

Sadly, we had to have the lower functioning kid sleep outside . It broke my heart. He looked at me, "Miss Penny... but im going to freeze my britches off...."
I had to follow through with what was previously said. I had to be consistent and reliable
Hopefully he learned... and we wont have to have him sleep outside again.

Lare night ER and rats in the garbage can

Right.,
So
Much to my delight, I got called in to work yesterday!:) It was with the group that had 4 girls who are very high maintenance.. feigning sickness and coming up with crazy symptoms...
We had a lovely day.. lots of giggles and we made brownies that night... snuck a spoonful of frosting and licked the brownie batter bowl clean. Then ended it off with a huge slice of chocolately goodness.
Then...
nighttime rolled around..
The girls and i sat around on the carpet in the room, chatting, bonding, telling stories.. 9:45, 15 minutes after it was supposed to be quiet time, i sent them to their beds and went to the bathroom
JUST as i was about to PEE i heard a crash and a yelp. At first i thought it was another of their shenanigans.. goofing around.. tickling.. but when i came back out, one of the girls was on the floor in obvious pain, her arm crooked to the side. I sat down beside her, asked her if she was alright.. if she could move her fingers.. the whole she-bang.
Meanwhile i sent another one of the girls running down the hill to the boys cabin to get another counselor to help.
She ended up going to the hospital with JP and Doc. I felt horrible.. The one minute i chose to take for myself, something bad happened.. She was in MY care..
She had fallen off the ladder on her way up to her bunk.. the ladder wasn't screwed in correctly...
Meanwhile the rest of the 3 girls were in a tizzy, not knowing what to do, worried either about themselves and their phantom illnesses or about the girl who had disappeared into the night.
Slowly, I got them settled down... one of the girls came outside to chat with me.. an old friend from the past 2 summers who shows excellent leadership and mothership and caring and understanding.. She had a very close friendship with the girl who had fallen and was quit worried.
We went back inside... and no more than 2 minutes after we had laid down, we heard a loud rustling.. the girls jumped from their beds and we all tracked the noise.... which led us to the garbage can where a cute little mouse was running about. The sides were too slippery for him to escape so he was running back and forth. After a few minutes of gazing in awe (or,,. for some... disgust) I took the garbage can onside. As i was about to let the little guy loose, I realized he was not in there anymore. He had escaped somewhere between the walk from the garbages home by the beds to the doorway. I did NOT let the girls know.. and pretended i had set him free.... so hes probably still in there somewhere.
Alas, the girls were riled up once again. In an attempt to get them to quiet down and get to sleep, I allowed them to pull their mattresses down on the floor so we could have a sleepover. the catch was we had to have our heads on our pillows-laying down. We could talk we just couldn't read, walk, dance, etc.
It worked.
Until the girl came back.. which incited more excitement and restlessness. It turned out she had only a badly sprained arm.
It lasted only about 15 minutes this time and we all crashed there.. on the floor.. in a mess of pillows and blankets and sighs of sleepy content.

Wonderful Tongiht...

So.
I have been enveloped in the new book.. though it really isn't new.. but still
Wonderful Tonight by Pattie Boyd.
I find myself drifting there with her.. laughing along with the Beatles, drinking the coffee from the dentist laced with LSD and trying hard to find a way to get back to where we need to be... feeling the loneliness of having George so far away during tours... the feeling of getting dressed up and snazzy for photoshoots.. frolicking the upscale hippie bars and clubs and traveling to India for a transcendental retreat with ... feeling the agony of the sitting down for hours cradling the sitar until it comes out just right.. meeting RAvi Shankar.. walking in the door of the huge house to find boxes of letters from frantic fans... trying feebly to escape from the high mobsters in haight Ashbury when the Beatles refused a joint.. feeling the emptiness and utter lostness when Brian died of drinking and sleeping pils combined...
I will soon be to the part where she is with Eric Clapton..

at the same time.. im desperately in need of friends.. but so far no one is able to come visit..
until then.. the world of Pattie Boyd it is...

and now for the nighttime slide

and now
every night i am not at work
i start the downhill slide.
texting people just so that i can get that rush of delight that someone cares enough to text back
sipping on the wine wishing that i had people to play with.. people to entertain..
but HOW do i meet those people?
It end to chicken out... not believe that people actually would WANt to hang out with me.. why would they? what do i have to offer?
I make up excuses if i do happen to get an opportunity to hang out with someone.. i scare myself away.. i put up walls..
Im still in that world where i am waiting for someone to save me . .
i know better
i know better
i just need to believe.. to allow things to be.. to go outside and read on the benches in downtown instead of curled up in a ball in my fun round chair that i keep falling out of.
the time will come
i dont want to play this game anymore

but..
back to the kids on Wednesday :) YaY! it cannot come soon enough

Inappropriates.. Praying Mantis.. packing for campout...

Wee...
and im off duty again :(
Its been fun!
They are definitely teenage boys.. with raging hormones.. and being the only girl in a group of 8 boys 14-17 its amuzing.
They practice their pick up lines on me.. ask me questions about girls.. i answer to the best ability that i can.. when possible.. when appropriate.. though at night we do have a time during evening group that we discuss "Inappropriates" where the boys can ask any question about an inappropriate subject and us counselors have to answer with textbook answers.
Some questions that have been asked
"Which is better, vaginal or anal sex?"
"If a girl has stretch marks, is it okay to ask her about them?"
"Sometimes after I am with a girl, my fingers smell disgusting... what is that smell and whats the best soap to get it off with?"
"What were those dogs doing outside?" ..(earlier 2 of the resident dogs were..humping..)

One day as we were walking one of the boys, who is usually scared of bugs, let out a surprised yelp and jumped back. We all turned around and saw this beautiful green creature fly up in the air and land on a leaf. We all gathered around and gazed in awe at the praying mantis. None of us had ever seen one in the wild before. I popped out some facts that i learned while working at the Children's Museum on praying mantises.. a teachable moment..

One of the boys.. the one who is sensitive to smell freaked out at lunch the other day. He had left a box of pizza in the back refrigerator when his parents left. We made it clear to him that he would not be able to eat it. He wanted it. He argued. He put his hands on my upper arm and shook me. I talked him down.. calmed him.. Thompson.. the boss man.. came down to talk to him and lay down the law that he could not have special privileges that the other kids didnt have... He had to be part of the group in order to level up and reach the point where he would be able to spend his allowance on outside food. He argued some more.. Thompson left because he had business to attend to. I managed to get the kid to sweep the porch in order to maintain his connection to the group and we were off.. no more problems,.
He is also the one who takes his shower last so he can "relieve himself"..
He is ALSO the one who tried to drag his mattress to the bus for the overnight hike/campout
He is also the one who carries around a dirty blanket with him everywhere and lays down at any chance he can get.. though he has gotten a lot better

We had a dance party the other night. :) Everyone was so energetic! The energy in the room.. the vibes.. were AMAZING. Everyone was free to be.... even if someone tripped while attempting a new dance, it was all good... even when one kid put on the Pokemon song to dance to.. there were only slight complaints..

Gummi Bear Trivia is the highlight.. i am stunned at their knowledge.. and not surprised at their desperateness for candy...

My co0staff was not very helpful as i tried to get the kids packed for their overnight trip. I had no idea what to bring.. what to pack.. how to pack it.. if the supplies left out was enough or too much... if everything was supposed to be packed in the kids backpacks, distrubited evenly or if the food nad group stuff was going to be unloaded at the campsight with no need to pack.. I had no idea how long they were going to hike.. what the weather would be like... and I wanted to do sooo good.. I wouldnt be the one camping with them. Whitney and JP would be the ones taking them out... so if i messed up, it would be MY fault.. and they would be stuck out there...

It continues to remain beautiful out here... and we continue to sing on the porch during Email time...

Our group name, after some debate and some dissapointment and much delight,
Beatlejuice
it was supposed to be Beetlejuice.. but due to my love for the Beatles. and everyones mutual agreement, we changed the spelling..

Day 2!

YaY!
The kids are still a delight
:)
It was a whirlwind yesterday.. I got to go to classes with them.. laugh at their funny little quips they threw in.. console a couple who nealry blew up but were able to take a time out before they said/did anything they regretted..
I stepped on a bee.. IT HURT!! :( My toe filled up with juice of pain.. One of the kids jumped to attention, showing off his vast knowledge of plants and ran outside to retrieve a plant that was supposed to stop swelling after a bee sting.... it did not stop the pain :(
Afternoon activity was Water Balloons.. one big crazy wet mess.. controlled chaos.. trying to fill up the balloons, and NOT pop them before time to throw them.. though a few of the kids tossed them or popped htem anyway. One kid, being SUCH a jokester pretended to pee out the door and one of the other staff saw it and flipped out. HA! :)
After dinner, we had email time.. only 2 o the 7 kids were able to use computers at the same time. Soo... the rest of us piled on the couch outside on the porch and one of the boys strummed on the guitar.. doing his best to take requests from some of the lower functioning boys.. AND
my FAVORITE PART
was our sing alongs :)
We were all out there, belting out "Hey Jude"... "Fly me to the moon".. "L is for the way oyu loooook at me... O is for the only ONEEEE i seeee.."..... and a couple others.. we all ended up in a pile of giggles.
We also had gummi bear trivia. which was a hit. :) some of the spicier questions were rewarded with AirHeads or Tootsie Roll Pops.
I was sad though, I was told that I had to spend the night at the girls cabin because their staff was leaving that night. I didnt want to leave my boyS!!! But i did as i was told. and my heart glowed with happiness.. I told the boys just before evening group and they all protested asking why it had to be me. .. THEY REALLY DO LIKE ME!! :)
I do take the time each day to take each of them aside,put on my sober/calm/counselor face and remind them that i CAN be chill when i need to be.. asking them if they are okay.. checking in with them.. bonding.. building that repor (sp?) that is needed.
Tomorrow morning at 9
I leave
again
this time for 5 days
:(

Update.. THE KIDS!

I got a new tattoo today :)
Im quite excited :)
A tribute to my honey.. honey! delicious syrupy sweet liquid that i drizzle on everything...

The new kids came yesterday! I LOVE them all!
we now have 7 kids..
There are two 14 year olds.. that bond well together.. talking nonsensicalness about Natuiro and Gemstones and other sci fi type things.. very good natured and respectful of what we say.. always on the ball and does what is needed whether we tell them or not.
There are two 16 year olds.
one is a punker.. skater.. somewhat keeps to himself.. but when you get him talking, he has a LOT to say and is so amazing.. he says that when he skates.. it is the only time htat he feels like himself. he is my bright shining star!
One is a comedian.. he has videos on youtube and was acutaly on stage a few times.. Quite a crack up.. knows all about hip hop and all kinds of music. I played Ace Of Base and he knew the exact date that it came out. He also is reading a book, "The complete handbook on how to pick up women"
There are two 15 year olds... about the same level of functioning (in regards to their Asperger's)
One prefers to be called Homer. he is very very smiley.. constantly asking assurance... making sure that we are still his "best buddies".. :) another gem of mine
The other one is quite another story. One of the first things he said to me was, "Sometimes, during class, i feel the need to masturbate. I need my privacy." He has since shown us how he does it (with a chair.. it has to be a chair, not the wall, not a bench, but a chair) and refuses to go into the dining hall due to his extremely sensitive nose..... though i feel happy when i get him to smile. We struck up a deal. I wanted him to play a game of cards with me.. He thought a minute, then replied "Okay Penny. I will play cards with you under one condition.. if you teach me how to whistle." Soooooo cute :)
We got our other one we got last night.. so i havent gotten much of a chance to bond with him, though he seems like a firecracker.. joking around.. calling me "weirdo/crazy/wired/hyper" all with an amused smile on his face.. Which just gets me more excited/hyper, "Well you're gonna have to live with me the WHOLE semester and you are going to learn to love me!"
Ha! :)
It was hard to leave them for my day off.. knowing that i would miss a crutial day in their transition here...

also
my co-staff :(
he is on the COMPLETE opposite shift as me
He lives RIGHT NEXT door to me, though i will NEVER see him during this whole semsester.. we spent a LOT of time together during the last couple weeks.. plus a few times over the summer..
and now
i will never see him..
no more time togeether
I am close to heart broken.
....
....
I get lonely WAY too easy.
I need poeple here.. though i dont want to have to rely on people for happiness.. i am responsible for my own happiness... though i tend to disinigrate when i do not get the attention.hugs.hold that i need..
:(

YaY

A most empowring song.. :)
I was jammin to it on the way home last night.. or rahter.. early this morning
:)
stuck here at camp until Friday.. getting to know the ropes..
im getting pumped up now for the kids to ocme.. :)