Soooo
tings are slow
life is slow
i do NOT like not having a job
piddling around..
treadmill every morning.. the dreaded 45 minutes..
then tinker around a little more.. dabble with the Wii... run errands with my mom while she talks to herself and yells at the drivers around her and buys 5 million things at the grocery store and uses the self checkout swearing every few seconds beceause it tells her to do something..
then kayak
my favorite time
out there on the water.. soo calm.. soo flat.. soo beautiful.. dont really want to come in at the end of the day.. but i know Dads coming home :)
and then dinner
and i love my daddy
i am most definatly his child
and my mom starts drinking at 5 or so and continues til late and she cant even find the ash tray for her cigarettes..

and then everything i think.. everything i do.. he is factored in somehow
its sooo frustrating
i find a potential job
then automatically
"i wonder if it is a place he could live.. he could visit.. what would he do... is there enough for him around there?"
no matter what the answer is i usualy apply anyway

mom and dad want me to go back to school
they also want me to stay at home with them
sorry...

I just want a kitty and a job and to be with JP
or to travel
why not?
my dad did it for 3 months with his best friend down in South America
why cant i follow in his tracks?
It doesnt even have to be 3 months..

Oh
and went into Wal-Mart for the first time in 4 months
never again
i am totally over it
and ESPECIALLY after viewing
http://peopleofwalmart.com/
i keep looking for those people.. hoping people arent taking pictures of me
America....