I Is A NewfoundlanderHey! I'm not on pogey,
And I'm not married to my sister;
I don't eat cod fish tree times a day,
Well dat's cuz dere ain't no more cod fish left.
I don't own a boat or a so'wester
But I can see a boat from me window;
I don't drink screech,
At least before noon on a weekday anyways.
I don't know Gordon Pincent, or Mary Walsh,
Or Jimmy Flynn, or Rick Mercer;
But I watch Dis Hour Has 22 Minutes every week, eh?
I got a premier named Brian Tobin,
He went to war with Spain over somin' called a turbot;
Ain't sure what a turbot ackshly, but I'm damned if I'm gonna let
Any guy from Spain come and take dem away from me.
I ain't the b'y that builds da boats, and I ain't de b'y that sails em,
But like I said before, I can see a boat from ma window, eh?
I don't dance a jig everytime I hear Celtic music,
But I'll do dat Karaokee ting if I got enough Black Forest beers in me.
I'm still pissed off at Prince Edward Island, for buildin' dat dere bridge,
And not buildin' one out to the rock, them stupid spud heads;
And even though he ain't really a Newfie,
I tink Stompin' Tom Connors should run for Prime Minister.
Newfoundland is the oldest settlement in Nort' America,
And the youngest province in Confederation;
Oh, my grandfudder's still pissed off about dat one,
You don't even wanna talk about Joey Smallwood to grampa.
And even though I lives in Fort McMurray,
Lord tunderin' Jeshus, I still tinks that Newfoundland,
Is the best darn province in the country.
My name is Buddy, and I is a Newfoundlander.
And now for some Newfie Sayings... (Things you'd hear if you hung out with those wonderfully delightful folks from Newfoundland)
-Birtch broom in the fits,
-She's gone bye she's gone,
- Good day on clothes,
-fine mug up,
-How ya gettin on?,
-Any mummers loud in?
-croked as sin
-cookin' up a scoff
-saucy as a crackie
-awful nice day
- if ya mudder only knew...
-You're some crooked.
-Yes b'y!
-Sure ya knows now
-Yis my son
-Go'on.... ya dont say
-My Love (I admit I have been caught ending my sentences with 'My Love')
-your some bad you are.
-'ello me ol' trout
-'ello me ducky
-proper ting!
-stund as me arse!
You know you're a Newfie when...
You know you are from Newfoundland when:
1. You never meet any celebrities except Buddy Wasisname and Toni Marie Wiseman.
2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the "TCH".
3. "Vacation" means going to St. John's for the weekend.
4. You've seen all the biggest bands 10 years after they were popular everywhere else.
5. You measure distance in hours when traveling across the province, and full days when measuring distance across the country.
6. You know several people who have hit moose more than once.
7. Your classes were often cancelled because of snow.
8. You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
9. You use a down comforter in the summer.
10. Your grandparents drive at 100/km per hour through 13 feet of snow in a raging blizzard - without flinching.
14. You think of the major four food groups as moose meat, beer, fish and berries and a typical meal portion for you would feed an American for two days.
15. You carry jumper cables in your car and you know how to use them.
16. There are 4 empty cars running in the parking lot at the convenience store at any given time.
17. You only own three spices: Salt, Pepper and Ketchup.
18. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
19. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
20. You think everyone from a bigger city has an accent and dresses funny.
21. You think lingerie is a short flannel night dress.
22. You know all 4 seasons: Almost Winter, Winter, Still Winter, and Construction.
23. It takes 3 hours to go to the store for one item when your in a rush because you have to stop and talk to everyone you know.
24. You have a satellite dish with 500 channels and you STILL watch the NTV evening news hour religiously.
25. You consider a snow blower a recreational vehicle.
27. You have your own rubber boots & ball cap for picking berries and fishing.
28. The shed or the barn are acceptable places for grown men and sometimes women to drink and socialize.
-You know how to answer when somebody asks: "Whaddyat?"
-SKI-DOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- you know what a kitchen party is
-When you say 3 as tree
-You know that Eh is a question, not a statement.
You have 10 favourite recipes for bottled moose.
- You live in a house that has no front step, yet the door is one meter above the ground.
-You find -40C a little nippy
- You know what a Mickey and 2-4 mean.
-AND you CELEBREATE 2-4...
- You get excited whenever an American television show mentions Canada and/or Newfoundland
You've lost something in your yard and then found it when the snow melted
- You know what a poutine is and how to make it.
-You know that Dominoe's makes SUPER nummy pizza and subs (NOT the chain in USA)~
"You know, I guess I'm like any other political figure: Everybody wants to be loved." --George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., July 12, 2007
