i need to "upgrade"

Annnnnd i let him do it again tonight.. 2nd chance.. we didn't go to the concert.. just sat around like old times.. munching on delicious cheese bread.. He still doesn't understand why I left him in the stands last night.. though i told him.. he doesn't understand how pissed i was: getting there over an hour late-taking the pills-using up my green-falling asleep during the concert HE got me interested in cuz its supposedly his favorite band..
He got a call at 9:15.. i could tell he was tired-he had almost fallen asleep a little earlier.. he kept talking (on the phone) about how he had to go to work tomorrow at 9.. talking about hanging out.. my tummy sank yet again
At least this time HE wasn't driving up there, his friend was driving down to HIM,.. so.. I ditched him yet again..
ANd the thing that pisses me off most about all of this...
when i leave.. he doesn't come after me..
doesn't even make a move.. though sometimes he "Whats wrong with YOU?"...

i guess that should tell me something.. as it has before..

As my new friend says, I need to "upgrade"

PANIC!~! Widespread style..

Hmm..
So Widespread Panic, huh!?
A.M.A.Z.I.N.G. show..
though for me it came in intervals.. NOT because of the music ro the atmosphere but because of who i went with.
He didn't even get home from being at his parents until 8-when the concert was supposed to start.. and we still had to drive nearly 40 minutes.. and before we left he still had to "gather up a few things"
He took some pills.. used my green.... and i saw his eyes get droopy.. the funny feeling in my tummy grew bigger... this does NOT look good..
we got there around 9:15 or so.. went down to the floor where I jammed and he teetered between dancing and standing (swaying) with his eyes closed..
Set ended... he suggested we go up to the seats so we could see better.. He immediately crashed when we sat down.. I kept waking him.. even went to get him 2 Snickers (which actually was a happy little adventure for i got to be free from him and NOT sit down)...
Music started.. he never stood up.. the people around me were older so I couldn't even really enjoy myself.. talk to them.. But i was stuck in the middle of the row...
Ha~ I texted Emily and Erin.. because they know him and me and our situation.. and with their persuasion i did the thing i wanted to do all along..
I left him.. went down to the floor by myself.. and TOTALLY loved it~ :)
Such a freeing feeling.. out there on the floor.. lights splashing all around you... becoming one with the music and hte crowd.. though at times some of the guys around me creeped me out.. I actually MOVED a lot because different guys started trying to dance with me and i didn't like or want it.. Though i did meet a nice guy and ended up giving him a false phone number at the end
beautiful music~ ESPECIALLY When they popped out the Drums and started this fun and funky African Tribal Dance type beat.

So yea.. He needs to prove that he actually CareS.. and NOT by sticking his hand up my skirt.. he DID always reach for my hand when we maneuvered the crowd so i wouldn't get lost..
but he woke up just in time for the last song.. didn't even understand or get the point as to why i left him.. fell asleep in the car.. asked me to come over.. fell asleep within minutes of when i walked in the door.. sooo i walked RIght back out.. went to my own bed and SLEPT.
He wants me to get tickets for tomorrow because he felt bad that he slept through this one.. Part of me wants to.. so he can prove himself.. the other part wants me to NOT.. get tickets for myself.. find someone else to go with.. not put myself through that potential again..
ahh~