yes
i am a slave to my phone
it determines my mood
if i get a text then i am soaring high
hopeful for any potential meeting

I have this problem you see
I can't call and invite people over
So many things go through my head
I see
them having fun with friends
not wanting to ditch them to talk to me
i imagine
them sighing when they see my name on their phone
saying to themselves, "I guess I have to answer this"
i fear
that hesitant pause as i ask them what they are doing
"wellll..." and i know my wish will not be fulfilled

I do though
i do think all of that and more
It is a huge step.. a very scary thing to make that call
How do you invite people over?
It is such an easy concept.. why is it so hard?
I fear the rejection.. i fear what they will think, "ooohhh man... why is she calling again?"... i fear that awkward toying around the subject-trying to see if they are free-if they are with anyone-if they are even free to visit me.. and then there is the "do they WANT to hang out with me?"

all i ask
is this last week
please
dont give up on me
please
call me text me hold me visit me hug me play with me hookah with me cook with me walk with me snuggle with me
seriously
that is what i want
a snuggle buddy.
anyone interested?

=(

do you realize how much time i spend on you?
thinking..
thinking.. who you are with
wondering.. would you leave them to come visit me
hoping.. would you invite me to where you are
dreaming.. would you hold me tonight
wishing.. we could be together tonight
wanting you
and so i wait
phone clutched close
and so i wait
for the magical music that lets me know you care
and so i wait
hoping we have a chance
and so i remember
those nights we had together
and so i remember
the laughter we shared
and so i remember
how i feel when i am with you
and i wait
checking my phone..
hoping for some sign
nothing
and so i wonder
what did i do?
and so i wonder
why don't you want me?
and so i wonder
why i waited
and so i cry
wishing you were here to hold me
and so i cry
knowing that i wont have you
and so i cry
still clutching the phone close to me
and i wait

The best nights tend to be followed by the most lonely day... and night... ever...