and now for the nighttime slide

and now
every night i am not at work
i start the downhill slide.
texting people just so that i can get that rush of delight that someone cares enough to text back
sipping on the wine wishing that i had people to play with.. people to entertain..
but HOW do i meet those people?
It end to chicken out... not believe that people actually would WANt to hang out with me.. why would they? what do i have to offer?
I make up excuses if i do happen to get an opportunity to hang out with someone.. i scare myself away.. i put up walls..
Im still in that world where i am waiting for someone to save me . .
i know better
i know better
i just need to believe.. to allow things to be.. to go outside and read on the benches in downtown instead of curled up in a ball in my fun round chair that i keep falling out of.
the time will come
i dont want to play this game anymore

but..
back to the kids on Wednesday :) YaY! it cannot come soon enough

Inappropriates.. Praying Mantis.. packing for campout...

Wee...
and im off duty again :(
Its been fun!
They are definitely teenage boys.. with raging hormones.. and being the only girl in a group of 8 boys 14-17 its amuzing.
They practice their pick up lines on me.. ask me questions about girls.. i answer to the best ability that i can.. when possible.. when appropriate.. though at night we do have a time during evening group that we discuss "Inappropriates" where the boys can ask any question about an inappropriate subject and us counselors have to answer with textbook answers.
Some questions that have been asked
"Which is better, vaginal or anal sex?"
"If a girl has stretch marks, is it okay to ask her about them?"
"Sometimes after I am with a girl, my fingers smell disgusting... what is that smell and whats the best soap to get it off with?"
"What were those dogs doing outside?" ..(earlier 2 of the resident dogs were..humping..)

One day as we were walking one of the boys, who is usually scared of bugs, let out a surprised yelp and jumped back. We all turned around and saw this beautiful green creature fly up in the air and land on a leaf. We all gathered around and gazed in awe at the praying mantis. None of us had ever seen one in the wild before. I popped out some facts that i learned while working at the Children's Museum on praying mantises.. a teachable moment..

One of the boys.. the one who is sensitive to smell freaked out at lunch the other day. He had left a box of pizza in the back refrigerator when his parents left. We made it clear to him that he would not be able to eat it. He wanted it. He argued. He put his hands on my upper arm and shook me. I talked him down.. calmed him.. Thompson.. the boss man.. came down to talk to him and lay down the law that he could not have special privileges that the other kids didnt have... He had to be part of the group in order to level up and reach the point where he would be able to spend his allowance on outside food. He argued some more.. Thompson left because he had business to attend to. I managed to get the kid to sweep the porch in order to maintain his connection to the group and we were off.. no more problems,.
He is also the one who takes his shower last so he can "relieve himself"..
He is ALSO the one who tried to drag his mattress to the bus for the overnight hike/campout
He is also the one who carries around a dirty blanket with him everywhere and lays down at any chance he can get.. though he has gotten a lot better

We had a dance party the other night. :) Everyone was so energetic! The energy in the room.. the vibes.. were AMAZING. Everyone was free to be.... even if someone tripped while attempting a new dance, it was all good... even when one kid put on the Pokemon song to dance to.. there were only slight complaints..

Gummi Bear Trivia is the highlight.. i am stunned at their knowledge.. and not surprised at their desperateness for candy...

My co0staff was not very helpful as i tried to get the kids packed for their overnight trip. I had no idea what to bring.. what to pack.. how to pack it.. if the supplies left out was enough or too much... if everything was supposed to be packed in the kids backpacks, distrubited evenly or if the food nad group stuff was going to be unloaded at the campsight with no need to pack.. I had no idea how long they were going to hike.. what the weather would be like... and I wanted to do sooo good.. I wouldnt be the one camping with them. Whitney and JP would be the ones taking them out... so if i messed up, it would be MY fault.. and they would be stuck out there...

It continues to remain beautiful out here... and we continue to sing on the porch during Email time...

Our group name, after some debate and some dissapointment and much delight,
Beatlejuice
it was supposed to be Beetlejuice.. but due to my love for the Beatles. and everyones mutual agreement, we changed the spelling..