Does anyone read this anymore?
I dont think so.
I have been ranting and raving about the same thing over and over and over
and everyone gives me advice... saying it would PROBABLY be best to move on..
part of me kind of wants to.. engage in other pursuits.. see how they treat me.. how they make me feel.
but its so hard to rip myself from part of who i have been for the past 2 years.

I fly out Thursday. I am very excited. VERY excited...
Friday I meet with my academic advisor to convince him that I indeed CAN take 5 classes per semester one of them lasts the WHOLE semester and the other four are half semester (so 2 the first half, 2 the 2nd half)
I am a teachers pet. I LOVE to learn. I put my work first.
heck, I am even doing my own work now
I KNOW i can do it.

Then, Friday I drive to him...
time will tell
i will see for myself what I am getting into..
because going back on Thursday means that I DONT get to go to Seattle (Family) for christmas..
and he doesntknow if he is going to work on Christmas.. if he even really HAS a job...
I dont know why, but i feel like i am holding my breath about the future...


If someones reading this, let me know
give me a song
I want someone to dedicate a song to me '
I am asking for help
and thats not easy for me.