This time.. going back to him was WONDROUS
he was there
the whole time
his sister came to visit for a bit too
we all went to the beach and i played in the waves and played and they knocked me over.. knocked me down.. untied my swimsuit..

Oh yea.. his mom bought me a bikini.
and i actually wore it
and i actually like it
as long as i dont lookin the mirror too long

the beach was soo much fun
the waves were brutal
he came after an hour.. he had to take his dad to the doctor.. and then he came
and he came in the water with me
:)

and every thing he does
every thing he says
the way he looks at me
i can tell
more than ever

and little Taylor came to play
and i LOVE that she cuddles with me on the couch.. or that she made me hold her while we went to the hospital (where we were dropping her off with the grandparents she lives with who were visiting JPs uncle/the grandparents son) and wouldn't let me put her down... and how as soon as she sees me she runs and hugs me to the point she nearly knocks me down

and when i get bored i just walk down to the end of their pier.. crawl up the banister on the end and sit there watching all the boats go by.. wishing i could be on one..
its so peaceful

and we have been watching Breaking Bad. VERY intense show.. its gripping.. captivating.. and seriously.. i get so into it that when it is over.. or we pause it i have to stop and remind myself where i am.. who i am with.. what day it is..

lots of boring times we filled up with fun

and today i woke up so so very sad
which wasnt the best thing.. leaving him when i was sad.. but that was PART of the reason i was sad.

and i feel lazy
but i stil havent done a whole lot about it today

but
HAPPY NEWS
i have a job interview with the Audobon Insectarium in New Orleans October 2nd.
At first i thought it was a phone interview, but it turns out it is a interview i have to GO to..
which isnt necessarily a BAD thing
i just need to recruit someone to come with me
and really..
who WOULDNT want to go to New Orleans?

:)

I am scared to get too excited
scared to get too hopeeful
i have been hurt too much
but i cant help myself