Pakalolo

Wow..
I really really like this feeling...
warm all over
light as air
i feel like im moving
but only sitting still
Much too often i seem to ask
whats going on?
Are you talking tome?
I thought I said that outloud
but apparantly no one heard
all of the thoughts i said up inm y head
Light headed and free
Ilove this feeling im feeling
up here inmy head

Why cant i stand still
why cant i stop laughing
why cant i stop spinning
i hope this never ends

Om holding tight to the table
but i still fell like im floating
i know im earing clothes
but why cant i feel them?
Wh do i find that so funny?
This is ridiculous
this is lovely
this is free
i feel silly
swaying inmy head

Camp memories...

I crave the curly french fries.. seasoned just right... toasty-NOT soggy.. just the right amount of spice...

Hannah Flannagins here.. the Irish Pub.. is our frequent hangout now...
The waiters all know when i walk in "HEY! Its the Blue Hawaiin girl!!"
Apparantly.. there were a couple nights that i was not allowed to drink anymore...
I was NOT aware...

Bidis and Blue Hawaiins..
Adam and Dean and Matthew and Wyn
Salem and Thomas and STS9
Baxter and Fought and Molly and late nights in the room-chillaxin with juice..
Running around with a plate of leftover French Toast sticks-handing them out to the hungry children who have already had 4 or 5 already...
Being bombarded with hugs and shouts of delight everywhere i go..
coming back from my days off only to find my art room in shambles with dirt and lanyard scraps all over the floor and things shoved all over on the shelves with paint out that was not washed and is now CRUSTED on the brush and container..
Many times starting to write notes to my fellow staff on how to appropriately clean up the art room after they are done, but giving up halfway through because i couldnt be mean..
Serving food on the line... occasionally tossing instead of serving..
walking down to South Carolina to destress and unwind and process with my fellow co-staff (smoke break)...
being kidnapped by fellow staff to take me out for the night...
spending the night at J.P.s drinking straight out of the bottle until i couldnt see straight...
Convincing the campers to go down the waterfalll... finally sick of talking them into it, i went for it.. and they followed quickly after...
warm fuzzies that are now hanging up on my wall to make me feel specail on those down days...
i could go on and on...
this summer has been amazing..
i am SOOO coming back again next summer..

Camp Tali....

Ok..
So..
Summer CAmp is almost over :(
SAdness..
BUT!!
I got the job here for semesters!
YAY!!
I cannot wait.
I feel as though this summer has been really good for me. I have engaged a LOT more with staff and with the children.. I have become more of a counselor and less of a cleaner..
One particular In-between session was pretttttY scary..
We had gone to the Carl Sandburg House.. There were about twelve kids ranging in age from 11 to 19. AND ranging from Low functioning Autism to extreme ADD.
It was rather interesting... One particular child.. lets call him Max.. has had a history of instigating trouble. One of the other kids.. lets call him Alex (one of my favorites) was quite low on the social skills scale.. he had wet his bed the night before (he had NEVER done that before.. we figured it was because of the shock of change.. going from Academics to Sight) Anyway. Max had been making a noise that sounded like someone peeing and screaming "BEDWETTER! BEDWETTER!! PSSSS! PSSS!" over and over and Alex kept shouting "NO PSSS! PSSS!" And running around in circles.
Anyway. Max ended up calling Group every 5 minutes to call issues on the kids around him who accidently tapped him or accidently bumped into him.. The others were all pissed off at Max for calling issues on silly things... I could tell everyone was on the verge of bubbling over...
Lunch time came around and Max started instigating trouble again.. "PSS! PSS!BEDWETTER!!" and when i tried to take him aside to talk to him, he spat out his peanut butter nad jelly sandwitch at me (already chewed up and nasty... I was weating a dress with nice big pockets and the food ended up IN my pockets..) He calmed down for about 2 minutes.. we gave him some pretzels and he spat them out at me again.
"If you cannot handle sandwitches or pretzels in your mouth, you obviously cannot handle cookies in your mouth."
So he got no cookies..
More anger and frustrations were bubbling up...
Less than 5 minutes later, we piled on the bus... made it to the next block and had to pull over...
Max was standing on his seat on the bus, leaning over shouting hte same thing at the top of his lungs, "PSSS!! PSS!! BEDWETTER! BEDWETTER!!"
Everyone on the bus was getting sick of his antics..
Dave* crawled up on his seat and ran up to Max and attempted to hit him with a water bottle.. we settled him down for a minute..
Andy (18) went into his own little world shouting at the top of his lungs "GO AWAY!! YOU DONT BELEIVE ME!! NO ONE CARES!! AHRGG!!"
Alex had had enough and ran to the front to bite Max.. The other counselor had to restrain him.. I had to restrain Max... Dean was trying to crawl over all of us..
One of the girls, Amelia was curled up outside thebuss in a ball of tears..
A stranger came on the bus asking if everything was alright in the midst of all of this..
"We're good! We're okay! No Worries!!"
They didnt listen..
Max ran away.. out the bus.. across the street.. down the busy road.. in and out of the woods... I talked him down until he was able to be sensible... one of the administration pulled up beside us and had to restrain him by the side of the road... i ran BACK to the bus while cars kept stopping on the side of the road asking "Is everything alright back there?!"
Out of breath and running in the opposite direction, i would stutter, "Yeah.. its all good.. no worries..."
We finally made it back to camp.. the kids were tramatized.. one kid was curled up in a ball on his bed and didnt move for nearly 2 hours..
Anyway...
more later..
internet is scarce here.. and so is free time..
I dont want to leave this place..

STS9 Concert... Rocked my world..

Ooh the concert was A-Mazing!!
I started a drink before we got there... and then once we were there i was a tad "happy" and ran around passing out paint (literally running up to random people offering them paint and then pouring it in their hand or on their arm) and i dropped a vial of glitter so i kept running back to that spot and piling it up in my hand and then sprinkling it on others.. passing out glow sticks and stick on tattoos..
Just before we got in there, i put it on my tongue.. it disappeared and the last thing i totally remember was some guy next to me saying, "There's no turning back now" and then me spinning until i fell down.. right into the pile of glitter and paint..
the rest of the night was a blur of heat, dancing, swaying, flashing lights, glow sticks, funny smoking things being passed around, hugs, dreadlocks and tye dye..
My Friend Salem and i even tried to get up on the roof of one house nearby because it wasx too hot inside the house we were supposed to stay..we never made it up and ended up crashing on the grass.. though i never really slept.. When i spend time with Lucy, i am never abl;e to sleep... my eyes are filled with flashing swirling tye dye lights and strobe lights and my head pounds..
Icould NOT grasp reality.. or the concept of time..DURING the concert it felt like it lasted forever.. once it was over it felt asthough it had just started..
The people near me became my family.. if i was falling one way, they would help me back up.. they lit my bidi for me and picked up glow sticks for me.. they danced in rhythm with me and led me on other moves.. they pointed out trippy lights and funny costumes and i rubbed my hands to spread my glitter love..
THEN.. I made the mistake of watching my movie about Woodstock.. watching all those cats tripping out and grooving to the music outside.. one love.. one soul.. one being.. all the love and freedom and flowers and pretty people.. not afraid of themselvesor their bodies..
Oh how i wish i could expereiince that...

Mud Baths, Skinny Dipping, Mega Tripping, Dancing, Improv, Loudspeakers, Downpours, Port-O-Sans, Hog Farms, Helicopters dropping daisys and dry clothes, local families donating food to feed the masses, makeshift tents and tarps to keep dry, mud sliding and Jimi Hendrix, Arlo Guntrhie and Joan Baez and Canned Heat and The Who and Janis Joplin and Joe Cocker, the Merry Prankskers and the bad brown acid that is NOT poison-just a bad trip, no fights, no police, no rules, thousands for free knocking down the fences.. flying poeple in because the roads were NOT moving,

Check out this website for wonderfully groovy pics of the Woodstock concert.. I like the Love Bus