Hes gone for 4 days now.
No one to come home to
But I will be okay...
I do love work. I am happy at work.
I just need to figure out how to bring that happy home.
Whenever I come back from work, I am so tempted to just eat everything in the house.
Not that I am hungry.. because I do make sure to eat a bowl of soup or some tortilla chips or some roasted potatoes.. (not a meal though...)
I dont know what it is.. Just the need to fill the void.. to satisfy that crunch..
and its not like i eat A LOT.. just in my head it is,, its mainly "tasting" or sampling many different things.. and then i look back and look at the number of DIFFERENT things.. not the total amount..

I am still going to the Convalescent Center Thursday.
To test it out
To figure out what I might be getting myself into... to see the pay.. the residents.. how they react to me.. how i feel after being in that setting for a bit.. when the "training" will be over and the actual Certification is..

But I do know I can get by just waitressing.. LOVE it more.. talk to more people.. etc.
but I just feel the pressures from my parents.. for the resume.. to have a REAL job on my resume.. for future jobs.. waitressing is NOTHING in terms of work when you want to get a real job later on.. I guess in references it would work..

Sunday was RIDICULOUS
I was supposed to go in at 7.. but got a call at 5 am.. the other girls car would not start.. and so she needed me to go in and open... she would get there when she could.
Whatever. I thought. rolled out of bed and headed to work. things were slow if anything at first.. then came a small rush.. I could handle it.. then people started lining up.. waiting for their coffees.. sitting down.. waiting for me to come to them.. the people that HAD come and eaten had left.. tables were dirty..
and i was the only one.. the dear cook ended up bringing orders out for me until it got too busy..
It turns out, the owners husband and 2 girls had come in for their Fathers Day Breakfast.. saw the chaos.. saw that I was on alone.. and stepped in to help.. with the older girl at the cash register, writing out the coffee orders for me to crank out.. and the food for the cook.. the dad and younger daughter cleaned tables and did dishes (which were teetering over in heaps of dirty dishes, half eaten food, half full waters, disregarded coffee.. which i hadn't had time to clean so simply set it into the sink)
And I had no idea who they were.. I thought it was a little weird that some random family stepped in so diligently.. every time the cook walked behind me as I was brewing, steaming, pouring, etc. he would pat me on the back and reassure me that I was doing awesome..
things finally slowed down around 11:30.. and the 2 relief people came in.. one left within a half hour.. because there was "nothing to do".. well it was because he didnt come at 8 like he was supposed to.. and I had slowly made time to do dishes. clean tables, etc. as things slowed and the family left
I made $68 in tips.. from 5:30-12 and forgot to get my tips from 12-3 (there was atleast 20 in the jar which would have been split with the girl who sat behind the counter asking me to wait tables for her because she didnt want to talk to people she didnt know)

ANYWAY
I LOVE chaos
I thrive
I feel needed.. wanted... like i have a purpose.. etc.

Now.. I watch Les Miserables..