miss you kyo

my truth vs your truth

I just feel BLAH
and i hate that i am so contrary with my family
i dont like being confined with them
for SUCH a long period of time
with little connection to other people
which is probably why i spend so much time on the internet

its weird
cuz zometimes i look in the mirror and i feel soft and pretty
other times i feel harsh, ugly, big, warped
and its not just the lighting
and i dont know which one is true
and it doesn't matter what others say
because they are going to say the better one
to make me feel good
but
it doesn't change how i feel
they can say all they want
they can tell me "ITS THE TRUTH"
but the truth
to me
is different than the truth to everyone else
and i have to live with my truth
even if it fluctuates.

not just in mirrors and myself
but in life
my reality is different than yours
i can accept yours
that doesnt mean it is true to me
i am a very open minded person
i like to hear other peoples perspectives
that doesn't mean its true for me
i can look out hte window and gaze at the rock wall behind the parking lot and figure out which one is going to fall out first
while you look out the window and focus on the cars zooming by
i can look at a concerned face in a painting and think they are concerned for their children
you can look at her face and see it as anger
perspective.. angle.. mindset..

the mind fascinates me


and im thinking i would much rather go to WA or OR than San Diego
and hes having second thoughts..
or at least his dad is..
and so im going to convince him that WA or OR is the better choice
cheaper
pretty
BEAUTIFUL
and
he always wanted to go up there
so
why not now?