I hate how one second I feel lovely.. delightful.. pretty.. not so bad..
and i even pass some mirrors..
and then all of a sudden.. a certain angle in the mirror, a certain glance from a stranger
and it all shatters
and i fee like shit again


but i do the body image challenges.. tyring to prove to myself that im not all that bad..

I DID get to go swimming in the ocean today!
The other day I went to visit his sister and cousin in Wilmingon... we hooka-ed at 9:15 in the morning.. I bought a $130 new green hookah which i lovingly call either Gumby, Kermit or Kerropi (Japanese for frog).. he answers to all names.. ...went to mexican and iate chips and felt like shit and then we went to SWING on the SWINGS!!! like a little kid again.. and then I went back to their place.. and soon left
TODAY
they came to visit me!!
Well
to do their laundry
And we hoola hooped... and i decided thats the way im going to get fit.. widdle the middle..
i started off SOO sucky.. and then i loved it and got better and better.. on a roll!
And then i convinced him to ride with me to the beach..
but first to get a sno ball.. DELICIOUS
i havent been able to bring myself ot buy one for me in the longest time..
BUT THE OCEAN WAS SOOO MUCH FUN!
i got rocked and rolled and caressed and nearly drowned and knocked down and loved all by the waves.. one wave literally went over and on my head knocking me off my feet.. down and out.. scary! but soo soo so much fun!~
i invented different ways to attack the waves..
one being not smart when theres a big wave coming-kick it... my kick did not stand a chance against that wave . and i tumbled under the water again.. and again,..
i ended up smelling.. tasting sea water.. ocean all day..

He got a final offer/job out in Friday Harbor.. but its not til June..
i need him to help decide where we are going to stay until June.. so i can get a job.. i want to scoop ice cream