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Sunday, March 2, 2008

Saturday!! 50s dance.. hoola hoops.. and the BAND

Saturday..
What a fun day!
I was able to spend the entire day (well actually only 9-5) at the Bryant Conference Center. It was a blur of fun! Setting up for the party... blowing up balloons... decorating old scratched records... tying balloons onto water balloons and watching as loose ones floated up to the ceilibng...
Then we got the poodle skirts.. I choose a poufy one that went over my other skirt so that when i twirled around it extended straight out!! The dj started his music (even though he played 5 songs ov er and over)
I had the pleasure of spreading out the hoola hoops and was entranced. I played skip-it with them... I "jumped rope" with them... I "walked the dog" with them.. and most of all.. I HOOLA HOOPED!
I am proud to say that i was better than many of the 7 year olds :]
The whole while. I was up there near the stage, hoola hooping, tossing hoola hoops to other kids, high fiving them as they attempted the near impossible.. reminding them of the snack table, the craft tables, the face painting...
After everyone left, zoooom! Spinning and doing the electric slide and the Cuban Shuffle.. all of us...
I wanted more...


...And i got more

Later that night Julea and I went to Mellow Mushroom for some music and fun!
I don;t remember the names of the bands.. but wow.

I get so caught up in the music and the atmosphere and lights and darks..
People (mainly boys because for some reason i have no girl friends) come up to me and talk to me.. slight touches here and there.. brushes of the clothes... accidental falling into people because I cannot stand up straight.. others leaning in to blow my bubbles.. hugs: some tighter than others... giggles and laughs and smiles...
I have to wonder.. are they paying attention to me because they are drunk? Is it because of their beer goggles? Is there even such thing? I would never know.. I have never drank and never plan to....
As a result, I have no idea how REAL these boys actions are. Do they mean it when they are showing interest? Are they really laughing WITH me or AT me? Are the hugs wanting more or are they just mutual friendship hugs? All that they do.. is it flirting? is it real? is it the drunkeness allowing them to let loose?
Is it ME they want? or is just SOMEONE that pays attention to them .
I admit it. I do pay attention to others when they pay attention to me. Most of the time i am so caught up in the music and lights and bubbles that i am oblivious to everyone and everything around me.
I am very gullible and very trusting. I believe people when they tell me things.

There were at least 2 people who came up to me last night that I had noo idea who they were. They both reminded me that they met me a couple years ago. I was skeptical.. but then they mentioned my rainbow socks or tootsie roll pops.. And I realize it WAS me.

How do they recognize me after all those years? I probably only talked to them once. just ONCE. And years later.. they see me at this club/bar thingie and they come up to me.. and talk to me,... make me remember... I just feel sooo different from years ago. I feel that I do NOT look like the same person. I don't know if i like the person i look like now, but i am trying to accept it.
But..
There must be something rememberable about me....

I also am trying to live my life as much as i can... these last few months of college.... lots of confusing and conflicting things rolling around in my head... not sure what to make of my life at the moment..

NO idea where i will be after the summer (though i have ideas: Peace Corps.. maybe even full time at Children's HAnds-On Museum-since I got a potential offer yesterday)
First relationship.. whimsically fun and euphoric but hard to believe... but I am sad that i find my mind wandering..
Experiments.. in pakalolo among other things.. fun times.. but only every so often..
Going out at night.. staying up super late... wishing i could go home with someone.. wishing SOMETHING would happen with my life
Kyle.. I love you Kyle! :] you are still my hero
Ecuador.. wow. never thought i would do something like this either.. just buying the tickets.. doing the things to get ready... leaving ALL BY MYSELF on Saturday March 15th traveling to a 3rd world country..
Joining Peace Corps.. but still not sure if i am going to really go through with it..
Never-ending journey of accepting myself as i am now and not wishing/hoping for something different/more..

okay. I have bored enough.
I am sorry.
:]