Okay.. so in the past 3 or so days i have watched 2 AMAZING movies...
One, I already blogged about...
Across the Universe
CANNOT get enouh of it. I want to carry it with me all day long.. sing it... dance with it.. escape into that world..
Second...
Requiem for a Dream
wow... need i say more..?
The music still gives me chills and probably always will...
I keep having flashbacks of the movie.. Of Harry, at the end of movie as he curls up in his hospital bed, his body shaking with sobs.. literally broken to the core.. or where he is in the car and despite the fact his arm is obviously NOT looking good (deep purple and oozing a thick puss) he still jab needle in for one last fix..
In jail, Harry uses his one phone call to finally contact Marion again. "I'll come.. I'll come home day.. You just wait for me, alright?" ..both know that he is not coming home that night... The two share a heartbreaking moment of connection...
Tyrone, lying down for his first night in jail, in a great deal of pain from withdrawal, dreaming of his long-dead mother...
Or the mother, Sara the hauntingly hopeful look on her face, believing-or rather making herself believe- that she is going to be on tv... We all know what is really going to happen.. the various film angles and speeds only adds to the effect,,, and then in the final scenes when Sara finally emerges, her hair cut off, her face drained of life. she is catatonic and emaciated...
Sara's friends come to visit are are horrified to the point of tears as they realize the state that their friend is in (to make it worse, one of the ladies was the one who recommended the pills Sara began taking)
Probably one of the best emotionally draining anti-drug movie out there..
exposing drugs for what they really are and what they really can do to you.. and it is heartwrenching to watch because you realize how true it can be..
It is a work of art that literally shakes you to the core...
And here is the other trailer... i feel bad for anyone who watches this one... it sets them up for such a different movie than what the movie actually is...
Most misleading trailer EVER...
Anyone can be addicted to anything, therefore anything is a drug, and that addiction to whatever can ruin your life.
.
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Wednesday, January 30, 2008
More Movies...
Monday, January 28, 2008
I love Annie Leibovitz
Beyoncé is "Alice in Wonderland," accompanied by Oliver Platt as the Mad Hatter and Lyle Lovett as the March Hare. The tagline reads, "Where Wonderland is your destiny."
David Beckham is the gallant Prince Phillip from "Sleeping Beauty," The words read, "Where imagination saves the day."
Scarlett Johansson is Cinderella. The words read, "Where every Cinderella story comes true."
Whoopi Goldberg is the Genie from "Aladdin".
Gisele Bundchen portraying Wendy Darling, with dancer Mikhail Baryshnikov as Peter Pan and actress Tina Fey as Tinker Bell
Jessica Biel as Pocahontas
Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony as Jasmine and Aladdin from Disney's 'Aladdin"
Heath Ledger... R.I.P.
Umm... yes... this is from a Babtist Church.. the Westboro Baptist Church of Topeka, Kansas.. That is pretty low... I do not understand some people...
:[
Sunday, January 27, 2008
happy painting
The greatest most wonderful times are with paint.. whether it be tossing powered paint around in the sky or in a fan and let it slowly flow down from the sky like colored snow.. or tossing soft squishy balls covered in paint at each other... or mixing together the vibrant colors and watching as the swirls slowly merge into each other and form a new color.. the cool creamy feel of the paint as you squish it around your fingers... the swooosh of the paint brush as you leave behind a trail of paint on the paper.
I cannot paint without getting it all over. All over me... all over the floor.. all over the paper... all over everything...
I never have a product in mind when i start painting. I let it emerge. That is the best part because you can never mess up.
As the lovely Pablo Picasso once said, “The world today doesn't make sense, so why should I paint pictures that do?”
Across the Universe
Across the Universe.
I love this movie. Ohhh man..,
I cannot wait until i own it..
Leave it to Bono...
I was scared he would ruin this song, but I approve... I really want to be there with them, especially in this part.. on the bus..
And here is Dear Prudence.. Gives me goosebumps.. And the cereal...
The sun is up, the sky is blue,
Its beautiful, and so are you....
"Revolution" ... this song reminds me so much of Oasis.. .and notice... how purdy he is when he sings...
Such a bizarre and beautiful movie.. I feel that it caught the feeling, the pasison and the frezny of the era. Leaves your ears ringing with pleasure and your heart yearning for more.. all of the references to Beatles.. the girl who "came in through the bathroom window" and Rita who they met, she was a contortionist... Captures the whole Greenwich Village and the anti-war movement with protests and deaths from war and riots and chaos and rising tension and intense freedom for passion and love...
I literally floated out of the movie on a psychedelic cloud of pure bliss and comfort.. wistfulness to live there... to experience that era.. to be carried away on the bus, flowers and long hair and flowy dresses and bliss
Joe Cocker's "Come Together" as the bum, mad hippie and pimp all in one.
Bono's "I am the Walrus" as Dr. Robert
Eddie Izzard... as Mr. Kite...
Selma Hayek even made an appearance as a singing nurse..
Of course you need to have an open mind... They do change the songs of the Beatles, some people out there do not like it... many more love it.
Sadie, the sexy singer lady and JoJo the breathtaking guitarist... They were pretty much representing Janis Joplin and Jimmy Hendrix.. mmm...
--->All pictures, courtesy of www.imdb.com
Thursday, January 24, 2008
more pictures
In Trance on deviantART.
Tunnel to my mind..
sad, sad cupcake. by *mumblyjoe on deviantART
alone by ~lazyfairy on deviantART
alone
People weren't meant to be alone.
I walk around all the time and can sense all the little prickles of the eyes.. of everyone looking at me.. even if its just a glance.. I already feel insecure enough... Is that the only reason why i feel that people are looking at me? because i fear that they are?
More and more lately I just don't really want to leave the apartment. Waiting for things to get better. Waiting for something that something that won't happen, so i waste my time away, waiting for the time when i can walk out there and not even care what other's think.
It doesn't help that recently lost a really good friend. He de-friended me on Facebook and wont return my calls. He was the only one that called me back and made it seem as though he enjoyed being with me.
On the other hand, over the weekend i had a fun visit from Julie and her friend.. played Scrabble and reminisced over the Dinosaurs show.. :]
On another hand, this past weekend was a weekend i will never forget, for many reasons. I am still trying to figure out how i feel about it all. It was lovely.. it was amazing.. it was something i hope to experience again.. but at the same time.. I still don't know.. Is this new person me? I think i like it.
Much more impulsive (if that is believable).. staying out late.. forgetting super important things.. not doing the homework i should be doing.. buying lots of useless crap.. not doing things i know I should... caring too much about things i shouldn't....
Just riding the wave of life. I was talking to someone earlier and they said, "No, it's not all that weird, you are just doing all the things most college kids do their first year, when they are freshman."
hmm... Is my life going in reverse?
I just keep remembering how I used to be. How I used to look. Sooo different. So very different. I saw pictures of me from over the summer.. and even since then.. Stupid scar. I'm glad i had my liver transplant, for if not, i would not be alive. At the same time, it has caused so many emotional strife and problems and lead to 3 times going to a treatment center. Do i feel better? not as often as I'd like.. at times, part of me wants to go back to that time.. to that look.. i felt like a safe little cocoon. Now, I'm just a ratty piece of furniture, waiting to be taken away... lots of people passing by and staring, but no one reaching out...
I keep telling myself.. only 5 more months.. then on to Summer Camp (Sooo excited!... I miss my kiddos) and then who knows..
I just hope that by then, I will have found myself.,.. will be able to love-or atleast accept myself- for who i am, not constantly compare myself to everyone around me and realize that i am nothing like any of them.. cannot compare... everyone has these thoughts though..
Not feeling pretty.. feeling big... feeling meaningless to others..
The world is a big and scary place.
People are not meant to be alone.
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Camp Talisman!
I miss Camp Talisman!
I am sooo glad to be going back there this summer!!
PleASE come with me! We need counselors. And I want all of the old gang there, but i don't think that they are all going to be there....
HA! The orientation/staff training video was a tad less interesting than the movie that played right on the back of my eyelids...
CHARGE!! I believe this was Renaissance Day... I was soo surprised that with all those kids, hyped up excitement, running down a hill no one fell!
Our pond!! With the nip nip fish and the seaweed that brushes your toes as images of scary lake creatures float through your mind..
Poor Charlie.. he and his bat ears don't look too happy..
*lick lick*
I was asleep at the time... Poor Charlie!
poor baby... The kids sure were stumped as to how Charlie turned blue overnight...
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Innocence of children...
You know what I love about children?
I go to the zoo everyday (or.. before to the Children's Hands-On Museum) and pretty much feel like crap.
The kids see right through everything. They see me. They look at me with their intense, innocent eyes.. they grab my hand.. they pull me along into their world.
They make me feel beautiful.. they make me feel wanted and special.
They call out to me, "Come sit by me!" when they climb upon the Carousel.. they shout "Sit HERE!" as they poke at the open seat beside them on the little train... They look up, catch my eye, and grasp my hand..
As i walk hand in hand with them, their hand sometimes falls away as they as they get distracted by the lion as they giggle at how the lion lays, splayed out on his back.. as we move on to the next highlight, the child always finds my hand again...
I still remember back a long time ago, when I was in Nashville for Christmas while my brother was going through some intense cancer treatment. I couldn't handle doing nothing and hanging around in the hotel or the hospital. So i called up the Adventure Science Museum and asked if i could volunteer. I spent an amazing 2 weeks helping out the Winter Camps.. we spun in circles on a swivel chair to simulate being on the moon, we put marshmallows in dry ice, or nitrogen oxide and then smashed them with hammers... we put together volcanoes and ooh'ed and ahh'ed as the candy liquid spilled out... There were 2 brothers who I became attached to. I cried when i went home and had to leave. they had such an effect on me.. the younger one commented one time, "Wow... you're so skinny I can see right through you when you turn sideways."
Those words still haunt me as i realize how he, and probably the other children, saw me. I certainly did NOT see myself that way.
In their innocence, children can provide wake up calls with deep and lasting impact.
My last day there, him and his brother hugged me and begged me to come home with them and meet their mommy. They asked if i would be there come Spring... I said no and my heart ached as their faces fell.
At least I mean something to some people.. even if they are about 10 or more years younger than me...
Monday, January 21, 2008
Sunday, January 20, 2008
Those Crazy Animals...
Dark Roasted Blend
Creepy tortoise..
