Stuck
is what I am
Stuck
in Buckley
basically, my schedule for today, next tuesday. wednesday and thursday is to get the kids up and ready for school.. walk them a block and a half to school.. and be there to walk them back home and hang around until their mother gets home (or dad.. whoever is first)
Which is fine and good and all
I adore the kids.
Its the down time
its the between time
its from 9am-3pm.
its the what do I do while the kids do homework and the parents do their own thing.
its the what do i do all day all alone with no car?

I walked an hour or more down the road and wandered aimlessly around WalMart and Fred Meyer... wasted from 9am-1pm..
and the emptiness
the being away from him.. from everything..
coming back to the house, unsatisfied with myself, my situation... feeling like I could do more (but what?)
and then stuffing my face with apple jacks from the cupboard.

and then getting angry at myself
and then vacuuming.. sweeping..
now i have nothing to do tomorrow...
the place is vacuumed, swept, dishes done, laundry done

I made dinner tonight.. Mac and Cheese.. and all three of the kids rejected it and either opted for the Easy Mac or a bowl of cereal..

And I dont mind walking walking walking all day..
i ust fear that the forecast predicts rain for the ENTIRE NEXT WEEK.
i guess that is what umbrellas are for.