Well.. No one showed.. no one called...
except sunday morning to tell me that the girl that was supposed to be there at 4:30 n the morning was late and tehy needed me t o come in RIGHT AWAY (it was 5:45)
so i did.
And moneys going down
and motivations still lagging ... as are the smiles..
and june 21st cant come soon enough.. more work!! Summer camp@!! kids!! activities!! singing field trips!!
and more money
because
literally
i am lowest i have ever been
and it makes me irritable
and the prozac needs to start kicking in because i want to feel it again
it.. meaning.. happy? motivated? less of that.. more of that? i dont know
but i did get NetFlix from my parents':)
And and
and
and
he got me paints :) and a big sketchbook for painting in.. and a new nice pencil.. and oooooo
I have been painting every day.
sometimes we do collaboration paintings..
painting is such a release for me
the best thing he could have gotten for me
i love i love i love it
and i always always seem to get it all over me as well.
:)_
So i am a colorful little thing
little?
no
not little
therpaists.. i had to visit mine today.. i can always tell when he is right about someting .. i get pissed off.. annoyed.. not wanting to admit it
so i clamb up and look away..
F** YOU! ITS NOT TRUE!
but realy it is
:(
truth hurts

i need a book, he says..
"When I say no i feel guilty: by Manuel Smith.
so he says.
i cant track it down at a used ook store so i have to amazon it i suppose.