Wow.
okay
i dont even remember the last time i had time to write..
I was supposed to have from Monday-Thursday off.. which made me sad.. but each morning one of my co-workers would call me at 5:15 asking me to cover her shift.. or to get in there utnil she could take over..
That never started my days off well.. If she would have called the day BEFORE i could have prepared-sleep wise.. and gotten up in time to walk.. not RUN or have JP feel guilty so he would get up and drop me off.
But good money in tips..a nd am up to 52 hours which isnt bad when i was only scheduled so far for 29 hours, so extra hours=extra money AND more tips AND more people to talk with.
Though i do feel bad leaving JP with nothing to do
but even if i was there, what would we do?

food has been getting more frustrating to deal with. I feel as though i snack snack snack.. and always want to eat.. the comfort.. the pleasure.. the taste.. the crunch... the warmth..
the richness of the strawberry flavor in the smoothies.. with a drizzle of chocolate and a dab of whipped cream.. only enough left over for a shot glass.. or a frozen blended mocha, in a shot glass.. coupled with dizzying brain freezes.. throwing away food that people dont touch or barely eat is hard for me cuz i AM hungry.. but all i can manage is the leftovers from the blender.. because thats OK.. its nto a real meal.. its not someone elses half eaten stuff.. its MINE.
and then i get home and tempted by chips or Wheat Thins or Marshmallows.. cuz the chips and wheat thins are so powerful.. engulfing my taste buds with delicious flavor.. and the satisfying crunch.. the salty flavor leftover on my fingers as i franticly lick them off-trying to put the bag away.. and the marshmallows. so fluffy.. so PURE.. (though they really are no where NEAR Pure.. but to me. they are..)

and then cooking. I want to cook for JP, but i made Jambalaya from a box one time and he declared it too spicy (i had added a tad of Zatamarans. cuz i thought it needed a little extra something. I though it was DELICIOUS. but as soon as he said that, i felt torn between throwing the rest away and gorging myself on the rest of it. I saved it and threw it away the next day. THen came the chicken and rice.. he mentioned it was too (??) i forgot, but i messed up again. and i made him some hot chocolate for taking me to work.. it was "too watery".. and last night i wanted to cook for him again.. attempt to make something GOOD for once.. Alfredo from a a bag.. i forgot what its called, but im sure you've seen them. Of course, i couldn't just have it be from the bag, so i added some real parmesan, and this time it tasted "Weird"
shot down again
but he tried so hard to save himself.. going on and on as he was eating, "Did you go to Culinary school?... I need seconds I cant let this deliciousness go to waste... the Queen of the kitchen.." blah blah blah..
but the damage was done
because when you have an eating disorder, or at least MY eating disorder, MY COOKING for you is my loving of you. Its how i show love.. how i thank people.. and if I mess up every time then what good am i?
granted.. they were not BIG mess ups, but they still were losses.



BUT BUT BIUT
JACK OLESKER CAME IN AND I GOT TO SERVE HIM!
he actually came in with this really cute New Zeleander who was vegan so helped tailor his order so he could eat it.. my co-worker (whose gay) and i were talking about this New Zeleander and lalala
and then i went back and the older man started asking me if i ever slept with a care bear.. I was thining, WHAT kind of question is thaT?
ESPECIALLY because his first reaction to me coming to his table was, "Wowie! I dont need coffee this morning! I just need you as my waitress. Thank you for brightening my day!"
yea... so i was unsure of what he was getting at.
It turns out that HE wrote for Care Bears, Heidi, the Popples, Inspector Gadget, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, He-Man.. the Littles.. Rainbow Bright.. and he CREATED Mighty Morphin Power Rangers..
he worked on the screenplay for many disney movies, thumbilina, pocahauntus, little mermaid, etc.
I did not beleive him, but he peppered me with trivia and serenaded me theme songs to all of the above tv shows and movies..
I wrote his name down and looked it up when i got home and he is LEGIT.. face, name, claims to all he did..
I find that people like that, I admire more than any star out there. He is hte brains. HE CREATED kids heros.. kids fantasies.. imagine what kids world would be like without Care Bears,,, or Mighty Morphin Power Rangers..
i tried to buy his breakfast, but he wouldnt have it.
anyway :)
that was my excitement for the year.