Goodbye Kyle...

Kyle...
I got a phone call from my parents yesterday morning.. both parents on the phone at once.. I knew what had happened. I didn't WANT to know. I didn't want it to happen. My dad and mom.. in tears.. Never heard that before in my life... my heart sank...
I ran off to the zoo for the day... escaped... came home... chilled with Julea and Dan..
and escaped some more
Now, I am on my way back to the harsh reality.

I do not want ot go home. I do not want to go to Monroeville. The only reason i am is to be with my parents... and to be there for them...
There is nothing for me there. No one... No one for Kyle either. Yes, he had a lot of people rooting for him, but they didn't know him. His true friends were in Newfoundland. Thousands of miles away... but they still came through.. sending him packages of Ketchup Chips and other random goodies to make him smile. I thank them all for that. It makes me happy to think that he was cared for and loved so much.


















I only wish that i could be half the person that Kyle was.
He was my idol growing up. I wanted to do everything he did. I wanted to believe everything he told me. I wanted his friends to be my friends too.






















Something happened when we moved to Vancouver, WA and it lasted while we were in Newfoundland. He became angry at the world. He was not a nice kid. He never got up for school, he literally chased me around the house until I had to lock myself in the bathroom with the the sounds of Kyle shouting and pounding at the door. My awe and admiration turned to fear and sadness for him.

























Then he stayed back in Newfoundland. He had fun there with his friends, drinking and making memories. He loved life and lived it to the fullest. He became very close with everyone over there. Literally, EVERYONE knew him.


When he came back due to his sickness, he started to seem more caring towards me. I didn't know what to think. He defended me when I was at my lowest in my eating disorder and tried to get my parents to give me a break. Even though he never said it, I knew he loved me.

Even when i went home recently, in the past year, there are little things he does or says that just fill me with a warm glow because i know... even though he doesn't say it in words... i know..






I only wish that i could leave such an impact on the world.. Kyle most certainly lived his life and enjoyed it. He was not one to sit back and let things slide. He went out and had fun.


I have yet to do that... Though I am working on it...


Thank you Kyle..

I love you