Decided
after months of hoping
of waiting
of wishing
to get a job down near where he is
i am done
done looking
done searching
done hoping

and am going home
where I am wanted
to Hendersonville again.

He is back to his same old ways... worse sometimes.. better others..
but i think the WORST is that he has me roped in deep now too.
getting me to like the things he does
getting me to feel that rush
and i love it
and i HATE that
and i need to get away
from him?
get both of us away from this house?
I dont know
but
i know I need to go back to where I was last happy
and things are coming together
I have an apartment garunteed once the girl moves out..
some work back at my pottery studio where I love
plus potential work at the YMCA as a Child Care Aide.. with benefits of free usage of the YMCA.
I am going to clean up
do right
live life the way it is sUPPOSED to be lived
let people into my life
talk to people
and if someone wants to show me how a girl is SUPPOSED to be treated
and i happen to fall for him
is that so wrong?

i am ready to leave