Always something new

I got a call from AmeriCorps in Callam County.. working in Port Angeles or Port Townsend doing work with kids or the community... I almost said no but my mom was shooting daggers at me and muttered "idiot" when I was about to decline.

I have another idea
a better one
There is a place on the island.. a nursing home.. that gives CNA training and testing. Once I become certified I will get a job there..
and being a CNA.. as i read more and more.. is right up my alley...
I would get to help those that needed help.. talk.. feed.. assist.. monitor...
and pretty much guaranteed job...
opportunity for advancement.. becoming a RN..
and there is a need for CNAs in the country.
Thats what I want to do.


I cried tonight too..
for a silly reason.. though not really so silly.
My dad stayed late to work so he could pick up my brother on the way home... he could have come home for an hour.. but he chose to stay late.
that made me sad
my last night here for who knows how long
he didnt have time last night because he was at his work party.
He came home late Monday night.. but atleast I got a game of Scrabble in..
I just miss my daddy.. wanted to spend time with him before i left
I wanted his advice on my road trip.. look at the route with me.. see where we (as a family) had stopped in before.. and where to avoid..
and now he wont be home til 8:30.. then dinner.. and my little brother will be home so he will want to play the Wii or go in the hot tub... and my dad goes to bed at 9:50-10 pm. .
so
no time with my daddy
:(


which caused me to eat eat eat
and wait wait wait
and become sad sad sad
and not happy happy happy
and very confused
and
CANT
LIKE
MYSELF
and HATE MIRRORS
and body