sadness reigns again
after such a lovely care-free day.. (other than when i got freaked out and went on a long walk-to look for swings..)
such SWINGS!
such vibrant swings~
mood swings i mean..
like
this morning i felt so amazing.. so confident.. went applying for jobs.. and even though i got some positive responses, i still feel like shit again right now
right here
down down down
and its pretty out
and im wearing jeans
and i never wear jeans
and he is so beautiful to me
and loving and caring and everything i could ask for

and i need to stop the thinking "once i -- then i will feel better." "once i --- then i will be happy again"
I can be happy here
i can
i can
i can
i just need people.. socialization.. to jump out of my comfort zone a bit.. to stop letting my body/thoughts get in my way
stop judging my day and mood on what kind/how much food i eat.