stagnant

It has its moment.s..
i get restless
he sleeps
lays around in front of the tv
im fine with it... if i had something to do
I get to talk and chill with his sister and his cousin..
but thats not enough...
the nights..evenings make up for it..
the hugs and holding make up for it
the whispered words of promises i hesitate to believe
but it feels so good to believe
i want to let go of all doubt and accept this
but
i still live in fear of when this si going to end
so tahts why i spend all this time with him
because I want to soak it up as long as i can
as long as it will last

In other news...
I got to do an interview for San Diego zoo.. so my hopes are brightened by potential...
imagine
living out there on the West Coast..
Sunny San Diego..
whether he comes or not..
I am so there when tehy offer it to me

I get to hosue sit for my old boss~! :) The only sad part is she and her baby and husband will not be there! :(
alas..
I have a place to stay for a good bit
visit old freinds in the area
get some closure on the area...
I just love her
and her baby
and her husband
they have done SOOOO much for me
they will never even know...

I also got an email from my aunt in Buckley, WA offereing for me to become a nanny for her
whenever I want to come up
for however long id like to come up
ferrying her kids to different sports and practices and games...
perhaps cooking (I hope....)

Also my brothers spring break is coming up so that means FAMILY TRIP (if i dont have a job)

My thoughts are also clouded with the past..
Kevin.. yes yuou are there
Mark Dominey and Alonzo.. good freinds i havent heard from since I left Newfoundland that mean a lot to me..
and more
and good times
and sad times
but i miss them alll
anyway
i need to figure out this food situation

OH! I Made them dinner last ngiht :) Roasted potatoes.. he did hte buirger patties..
but i also made breakfast
FRENCH TOAST! YUMMMMMMMMY
and i let them know the offer always stands
if they want
French toast
grilled cheese... or cheese and ham..
Pancakes
Scrambled eggs.. omlettes..
POPCORN..
etc