I FOUND THE DAM!

^_^
I love kayak
I love it out on the water.. no distraction.. just free flowing thoughts.. nature..
I chased geese.. I skirted the edge of the islands..
ANd i found a dam
It made me sad.. the interruption from nature
then i got curious
what was beyond it?
So i paddled all the way far to the edge of the huge river.. parked the kayak among the floating logs.. hopped my way to shore and trekked up the cliff/hill and around the bend..
it was actually quite beautiful.. the gushing water.. like if you chomp your teeth together and spit out water inbetween...
the graying Spanish moss still hanging off the trees.. logs spurting up in the middle of the river.. the random small islands and splatters of the sea grass poking out as i tried to make my way through the maze..

its good to think
but i still haven't come to conclusions..
I cant stop thinking about him
but i also cant wait around for him to decide

So far..
i think i want to stay with my parents.. venture around a bit if people want me to visit.. but spend the days kayaking and treadmilling.. getting in shape.. taking care of myself..
and then
off to Thailand to teach English at $950 per month.. . May-Feb..

but things can quickly change
because i am easily influenced..