yes
i am a slave to my phone
it determines my mood
if i get a text then i am soaring high
hopeful for any potential meeting

I have this problem you see
I can't call and invite people over
So many things go through my head
I see
them having fun with friends
not wanting to ditch them to talk to me
i imagine
them sighing when they see my name on their phone
saying to themselves, "I guess I have to answer this"
i fear
that hesitant pause as i ask them what they are doing
"wellll..." and i know my wish will not be fulfilled

I do though
i do think all of that and more
It is a huge step.. a very scary thing to make that call
How do you invite people over?
It is such an easy concept.. why is it so hard?
I fear the rejection.. i fear what they will think, "ooohhh man... why is she calling again?"... i fear that awkward toying around the subject-trying to see if they are free-if they are with anyone-if they are even free to visit me.. and then there is the "do they WANT to hang out with me?"

all i ask
is this last week
please
dont give up on me
please
call me text me hold me visit me hug me play with me hookah with me cook with me walk with me snuggle with me
seriously
that is what i want
a snuggle buddy.
anyone interested?