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Thursday, November 13, 2008

time needs to stop dragging..

it a simple question..
do you like me or no
do you want me or no

im bad with getting caught up in things, thinking they are real.. wanting soo badly for things to be right.. for things to be the way i wish they could be...

nope

still no job prospects..
though I am getting a nice correspondence going with a man who is in charge of settling teachers in to teach English in Taiwan... intriguing.. fleeing the country for awhile
though i am TERRIFIED of being alone out there..

No replies from the preschools in the area
no new open positions to apply to

And its nearing Christmastime.. going home to relatives who were soo proud of me.. and will be asking me about the job i was soo excited about..
and i will have to tell them
Nope.. not anymore...
Well.. what am i doing?
Nothing.
sleeping. crying. reading. applying to jobs. drinking. dreaming. regretting. working $6/hour at a paint your own pottery studio.
essentially..
nothing



i didn't plan on being a failure

2 comments:

Robert Young said...

You call that being a failure? Ha! I worked nothing jobs for two and a half years while living at my parents house after college. I couldn't even afford their rent! (good thing they loved me anyways) You aren't a failure till you give up, and even then you can always try again.

Oh and I for one, do like you.

Face your fears then let them go.

Unknown said...

My dearest Penny Lane... you are not a failure. The only way you can be a failure is when you fail to try. Don't be discouraged and don't give up! You are amazing and I love you dearly!

Keep your chin up, things will get better!! Have you thought about looking into teach for america? You should, they are a great program!

I miss you lovely and I hope that you find your way and can be happy again- because you deserve it! <3