Best weekend ever.. but back to reality..

Okay...
This past weekend was the best ever~ full of bliss and wonder and drunken fun.. ha~:)
Emily and Erin and Justin came to visit.. Summer Camp reunion~ And on the last night we met up with more people from camp.
I got my 5th tattoo.. laughed till my tummy hurt... cheesy fries at Hannah Flannigans.. time much needed with my bestest friend, Emily who is wayyyyy too far away... made funny faces at the camera (I swear i thought i was smiling...)





Then.. once they all left, I crashed... HARD..
Reality set in again..
Reality that..
i still dont have a job that can support me financially
i still dont have anyone to stay with for my first 3 days in Seattle though i have contacted people... no one is really WANTING me...
i still am stuck here in Flat Rock.. beautiful house that i dont want to leave.. but know that I have to move on..
i still am terrified to move into another persons house (the "rooms available on Craigslist") because i dont want to shake their foundation.. because i dont want to invade their space.. because i am scared they wont like or accept me.. because i want to be able to host couch surfers and hear my music and hookah and eat my cooca and have my own space when i need it...
i still am terrified to move to Portlland or Seattle.. I WANT to go back there.. but its such a big move.. so expensive.. scared I wont find friends... scared that i will be disappointed..
i still am lonely... confused.. needing more than what i have right now..
i still am bigger than i'd like to be in all the wrong places..
i still havent bought tickets to Widespread Panic on Friday even though i promised i would almost a week ago..
i still need to renew my license (expires November 29th) but dont technically have an address here (I live on my landlords property.. so I dont have a mailbox really..) and I dont have the time to drive home to Augusta, GA to get one with the address at my parents house because of work...
I still have no plans for thanksgiving.. my parents are going off to New York to visit my little brother.. but since i have to work Monday.. they cant pick me up.. soooooo alone on Thansksgiving..
i still wake up in the middle of the night, look at the big emptiness in the bed and feel the emptiness in my heart...

On the other hand...
I found a space heater.. so now my bedroom is warm at night :)
I WAS able to have a fun time.. get some new pictures.. have some much needed fun..
I have lots of left over hard-A.. soooo.. anyone wanna come oveR?
I have a car that works with a wicked stereo system
I have pink in my hair (that is slowly fading to a reddish-orange... but still looks fun)
I got a call from Disney Cruise Lines (I emailed them about the position as a youth counselor on a whim the other day) and will be going to an interview in January
I havent had a drink the past two nights~ which is a big change from having something every night.. though it does make the feelings more raw..
I have been able to take the time to read.. old favorite pastime :)