I do wish something would happen to me
anything
I want a bad thing to happen
so I can have a legitimate reason to be so sad

I want to go away
far away
start over
be someone

I want to teach
I want people to believe in me.. give me a chance..
I want to make a difference

I want to like myself
I want to find my happy
I want to find my smile

I am tired of getting my hopes up with all these job interviews only to get my heart and hopes broken when the call never comes.. or does come int he form of a rejection

I want to ask for help... but who do i ask? What do i need? How CAN they help? What IS wrong?

I want to teach in China.. or Thailand.. or Africa.. or New Orleans Zoo..

I want JP to come to me..
I want our lives to come together again
I want MY life together again

I want to eat and not feel like a fatass
I want to look in the mirror and not see excess.. plumpness.

I just want to be okay with life again.