The Funeral is on wednesday
Do I go?
Should I go?
Is it disrespectful not to go?
I would like the experience I suppose.. It will be something to do
but
I WILL feel out of place
I WILL feel bored at times..
I WILL not know what to do a LOT of the time..
but Sofia wants me there


SO i went clothes shopping yesterday.. with Sofia and her mother... Craziness.. I couldnt try anything on really because I had to watch Sofia so her mother could look for things for Sofia and her..

SO
Today I went
on the adventure
to the malll...
overwhelming as usual...
the VERY FIRST dress I tried on.. I admit was a tad dressy..
but
ohh
ohh
i felt like I looked beautiful... and might i say.. hott??
But did I buy it? No
I DID put it on hold..
I went around..
everything else was too big.. too small.. too ugly.. didn't fit me right... too fluffy.. too this too that..
I did find one kinda blah thing that is versatile.. a V neck black shirt/dress that I can wear with any color tank top below and any kind of leggings.. boots..heeels.. etc. so It can work for MANY occasions..
PLUS a hat
Shopping and me don't go well
i talk myself out of everything
just like i talk myself out of DOING everything

But I am trying to convince myself that I need to take the time out of my life to go and BUY it.. because EVERY girl needs atleast something in their wardrobe that makes them feel like a princess...

Somday I will get over it
just as
someday
i will learn to feel pretty without the aid of a dress...