WHY am i so attached to him?
I feel so sad and empty...
is it because i am home?
is it beacuse he isnt with me?
Orrr
the fact that the apartment i have my heart set on wont be ready for who knows how long.. the girl cant seem to find a new place to move into.. i guess.. she keeps waiting for credit checks and whatnot to go through.... and is checking on a new place sunday
i just want to move in
i just want him with me
i just want to work
i just want everything to be alright again


and my parents want me to go back to school
and im nervous about this pottery studio thingie.. wanting it bad but scared that its not the right path
keep thinking of how much fun i had wotking at the zoo. and and childrens museums. and how good it felt to work in the hospital as i was working to be a child life specialist
but the zoo- i try.. no one hires me
childrens museums- no openings.. or no one will hire
child life - would have to go back to school.. or at least take a certification exam.. PLUS there is little to no work available..

so off i go
to get my 5,000 out of my CD account at one bank.. deposit it in another..
head to hendersonville to stay with Carina and babysit her lovely little one..
and wait
for my apartment to be open (i have been looking for others but there simply are not any)
wait
to see if i like working with the studio
wait
to see if i can be happy.. or at least satisfied with life