I bought a vibrator
HA!
It was Heathers idea.
a simple, short-term solution

i feel naughty
i feel empowered
i am excited
but it wont get here for awhile


i have nightmares about work.. daymares..
the past 2 days have been horrible..
Thursday i caled in before 10, cuz usually i have to cover this other girls shift.. they said no, they didnt need me.
I made plans to help JP pack for his 3 day with 6 people
we got all the way out to Baller Hill where we had limited reception..
I got the call
plans canceled
i was pissed
JP was pissed
I worked all day. exhausted.. wanting to be anywhere but there

Thursday night was beautiful
i was energetic
happy
excited
we went drinking.. I am a one hit wonder.. so one got mee through from 7:45 til midnight or whenever we went home.
i was playing ping pong with others... i got to play with JP and Chris... etc etc.
i was truly happy
except he passed out AS SOON as we got home

Friday i got the call at 7am saying i was late and was supposed to eb in at 6:30.
My shift was switched
JP couldnt take me cuz he wasnt awake yet and needed to be somehwere to pick up his people at a certain time and i was supposed to drop him off but now i couldnt
so i half ran down the road the entire half hour half crying too scared to stick out my thumb to hitchhike..
i made it
they said it was no big deal
TJ said he couldnt finish the day
so i finished it for him
nearly breaking down a few more times..

havent found the beauty in my breakdown
FrouFrou.. their song.. it MAY be true.. maybe the beauty is coming

last night i fell asleep at 7:15.. woke up for a phone call from JP at 9 and fell back asleep at 9:30...

i needed that
me time
sleep time
and
my purchase..
(: