We moved into his house.. that mans.. spent the entire day in our room.. the 4 walls..
but we did go down for a wallk to Jackson beach.. soo pretty.. soo warm... with the driftwood of my childhood.. so easy to make forts.. to attempt to glue together with a little floating light on it and send it out in Sequim Bay to see which boat lasted longest

and im torn
my dad doesnt like the idea that i am wasting my life away doing menial jobs like waitressing.. I understand.. and agree-to a degree.. I LOVE it.. i get to make good money..(ish) and i get to talk to people.. learn things (how to cook, bake, learn things from people..etc)
I AM still holding out for the CNA training here.. they haven't called me back.. i really should call them..
I also stil have the opportunity to do the ChildHaven thing in Seattle.. but I still am figuring out how to get there.. if i want to take that chance.. what if i DO get it? I would have to drop everything ive created here (not that I have much just yet.. but things ARE happening)
I have a job as a barista (starting Friday.. or at least "orientation" is tomorrow at 9am) I get to learn how to make REAL coffee. expresso, latte, mocha, with the steamers and percolator and all the other things.. the boss lady is very passionate about her coffee.. as most Seattle-ites are (or NW WA-ers)
And i am meeting His co-workers.. they accept me to the point that they dont shun me and invite me along when they invite him.. tho they are probably just being polite..
And I have figured out the grocery store.. where to get the cheapest this and the best tasting that
And getting a library card
And we finally found a place.. thats lonely.. or could be.. awkward where we are the only ones that know each other.. so we cling to that
I realize we have been though a LOT together
hes soooo much better.. light shining in his eyes.. DOING things.. for me and for him.. his personality is back... his laughter.. his wit.. his michevious smile..
AND I UNDERSTAND that couples have been apart for months or more at a time and survived..
AND he said himself, "You have drive, you have ambition, go on... I'll still be here.."
and he doesnt know what to do after this summer.. and i kinda need to know. cuz most work with benefits require you there for an extended period of time..
And the work I graduated to do requires long term commitment to a degree.. teaching, zoo work, children's museum..
I suppose a CNA could get hired anywhere.. and leave and find another place..
blah blah blah
I do want people to come
so i can give them a little tour
or show them the right places to go
Like Mi Caista.. HUGE portions of mexican food... hot delicious chips.. friendly staff.. attentive.. tho i was really hungry .. so that may have helped make it taste delicious... and i just ate black beans.. His guac and chips/salsa
And the Doctor's Office has really good soup.. with slices of bread-NOT CRACKERS- (homemade bread too) and the breakfast burrito is.. wow.. i tried some of his.. wished i could have allowed myself to order something that.. delicious..
anyway
No tv/cable (which is fine.. i just miss Travel Channel/Discovery Channel)

I am going to try to get a feel for the sons.. see if they are wiling to take me under their wing for abit.. they are musicians.. (mmmm)
in fact last night they were out on the back porch jamming... i wanted so bad to be able to go out.. join them.. but what would i do? watch? HA! i wish :)
We watched Crash.. Him and I.. ohmy.. that movie is intense.. sad.. shook me to the core.. and that girl in there.. skinnier than a twig.. like the girls i went to treatment with.. triggered me.. I almost went to the bathroom.. (i had just eaten the broth from the CupONoodles then a bowl of raspberries with cool whip-so it was easily coming out if i wanted)
but i willed myself to sit through it..
and i did...