:(
I hate decisions
i hate that i have to think and over think and analyze things way too much
and i am frustrated that i cant leave him
and that he doesnt know what hes going to do after the summer
the jobs that i want to do.. that i need for my medical insurance are long-term commitment jobs.
like the ChildHaven place in Seattle. I didn't go to the 3 day training. I chickened out. I hate interviewing.. waiting.. getting my hopes up..

Position Title: Therapeutic Child Care Worker

SUMMARY

Responsible for organizing a developmentally appropriate room in a Therapeutic Child Care program for abused and neglected children. Responsibilities include: overseeing general room operations, facilitating teamwork in planning and carrying out activities between yourself and other co-workers, and the coordination of planning developmentally appropriate activities which meet the individual needs of young children between the ages of 1 month to 5 years.

ESSENTIAL DUTIES AND RESPONSIBILITIES include the following. Other duties may be assigned.

Oversee the weekly planning which incorporates group and individual activities to meet appropriate developmental needs of young children, and aids individual children in reaching goals outlined in their Individualized Treatment Plan (ITP).

Model and interact with children to build relationships which foster the development of positive self esteem, self confidence, and communication skills, and coordinate assigning children to primary caregivers.

Demonstrate and model consistent room and van management and guidance techniques which foster the development of positive self image in children, which include, but are not limited to: setting age appropriate limits, redirecting, positive reinforcement, choices, and systematic attention and approval; and encouraging the development of conflict resolution and problem solving skills.

Observe and record emotional and physical conditions of individual children on a daily basis

Interact with parents in a positive, supportive manner at all times

Drive or assist on van routes on a regularly scheduled basis and transport vans for maintenance when needed. I would drive to the childrens houses in the sketchiest areas of Seattle.. walk to the door.. and retrieve the children, as well as drop them off in the afternoon

Upgrade job performance and personal skills by participating in Childhaven in-service trainings, attending related conferences, courses, or seminars, and reading job related journals and periodicals. they will give me $300 a year worth of training/workshops PLUS $50 per year for books

Work cooperatively as a team member as demonstrated

Responsible to comply with the agency's policy and procedure regarding the identification and reporting of child abuse.



with really good medical insurance/benefits.. paid time off.. paid holidays.. 8 hours sick leave per month.. accidental death insurance after one year.. free bus pass.. $13.95 an hour.. 7:30-4


And then the CNA job here.. which will start once hte background check is done.. 2-10pm starting off.. then once training is done its 10pm-6am.. I didn't look into nor ask about the benefits or pay.. but 8 hour shifts 4-5 days per week.. I am not SUPER excited about taking care of old people.. but AM excited at talking to them.. interacting (which I imagine I wont get to do much of due to my other duties-which include bathing, changing sheets, bedpans, etc.) but it will be a good springboard for wherever I move to next.. though if i did do the CNA i bet the benefits wouldnt kick in until a good 90 days after..

And i need medical insurance.. my mom and dad ALWAYS.. EVERY SINGLE TIME i call them bring it up.. that with my pre-existing condition.. the liver transplant with its medicine and blood work and the POSSIBILITY that i MIGHT go downhilll at ANY TIME and need to be hospitalized for something liver-transplant related..

And my friend in San Fran wants me to stay with her.. i would love friends.. and she is a beautiful soul,.. kindered spirit.. has gotten me through a lot.. no job prospectives yet.. but I can find something..

And my parents want me to come home and live with them.. but i would have no car.. and that place is triggering.. too much food.. but at the same time i love them soo much

And everyone wants me to go to school again.. but i dont know what I would want to do.. cuz one day i think Psychology.. then Art Therapy.. then Art Teacher.. then Nursing..

WHAT DO I WANT FROM LIFE!??!?!?