Blah Blah

Now
The days are running low..
soon i will be out of Tuscaloosa... To Ecuador..
I still cannot imagine myself being out there .. all by myself..

And then after watching movies with all kinds of friends going on adventures together.. I want that. I want that bonding experience that everyone else seems to have had. I try to explain to people.. no one really understands.. I NEVER had anything like that growing up.. and then especially when i got into college.. the first three or so years i was pretty much preoccupied with "issues".. many poeple may have THOUGHT that i was happy or i don't know what they thought. but they did NOT know me.
Now I am finally making connections with poeple.. WANTING to go out.. yearning to explore what the world has to offer and what I have to offer to the world. And sooo soon it will all be taken away and i will have to start all over again.

then soon after that i will be off to North Carolina.. and then what? then where?
My parents are NOT making this easier on me... every time.. every conversation.. "So, these places you are looking at, do they have Health Insurance?" . "You should've gone to Graduate School.." /| \

I don't know what i want to do with my life.
I find that this is a common topic throughout my blogs though. I shall not dwell on it much more.
I will occupy my time with scouring the net for more and more job opportunities that my parents can shoot down .. bring me back to reality that it IS NOT going to work for me.

I need to suspend reality for awhile. esssssscape!