okay.
So I want to do something with my life.
This class is really getting to me, which is a good thing.
Other things are getting to me as well... .walking around and around.. no one meeting my eye.. feeling inferior to everyone and everything.. Feel so disconnected from everyone around me... I am trying to convince myself that what I see in the mirror is not who I am.. not what I look like.. Or so i hope.
my perception of myself has always been messed up. Twisted reality.. I always feel like the blob. The misshapen putty. So I try to hide. I try to turn away from everyone and get lost in my own world of nothingness. I can't compete with everything and everyone around me anymore. Im tired of fighting. Fighting for a lost cause (thanks Beck.. he sung those words JUST as i was thinking of what to say)
So i am going to do something.
I am going to join the Peace Corps.
I sent in the application the other day... now am awaiting the next step.. for them to contact me.
I want to escape from everything. Get lost in another country. I want to see that i can make people smile. I want to inspire people. I want to be a role model. I want to prove to people that you can still have fun in life without catering to the majority of society.... that you don't have to be a cookie cutter. You can be eccentric, different, unique and still be smart and intelligent and fun to be around.. still have a head on your shoulders.
I want to interview people. I want to find out what drives them,
Jane Goodall, Ken Kesey, Dr. Timothy Leary, Charlie Chaplin, Jimi Hendrix, John Lennon, Paul McCartney, Annie Lebowitz, Mister Rodgers, Steve Irwin, Jeff Corwin, Robin Williams...
Joy Adamson, author of "Born Free" and promotor of wildlife conservation. In it, she recounts her adventures as the surrogate mother of an orphaned lion cub named Elsa with parenting duties shared by her husband George.
Tippi... who grew up in Africa among the leopards, mongooses, cheetahs and was pretty much barefoot and clad in only a loincloth.. what an amazing life to live..
Kevin Richardson the animal behaviorist and relies on instinct to win the hearts with Lions and form an intimate bond with them. He spends nights with them with no fear of being attacked. He also works with cheetahs, leopards and even hyenas. Ultimate trust between human and lions... wow..
But what about the old lady down the street who wears muumuus and a bonnet everyday? The man who plucks garbage out of the garbage can hoping to find some food? Your neighbor who has a strange obsession with tribal masks to the point where they are all over his walls? The baker? The waiter at your favorite restraunt? Who is to say that their life isn't as fascinating as some of the people i listed above? It may have a different level of interesting.
I challenge all you who read this (if anyone really does) to invite someone out to coffee or lunch or something... ask them,
---<> or even ask them for yourself.. how would YOU answer these questions?
"Would you rather be the painter or the painting?"
"If you had to chose three words that would describe who you would love to be, what three would they be?"
"What gets you going every day? What drives you?"
"When you were younger would you ever have imagined that you would be where you are now?"
"What makes you smile?"
"Who would you want to interview?"
"What songs would be on the soundtrack of your life?"
"Are you happiest in the morning when you first get up or in the evening when you get home from work/school?"
And the most important question:
