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Sunday, September 21, 2008

gooodbye boys.. until next Sunday...

I have to say.. im super proud of my boys these last couple days! :)
We went to the Walk for Autism here in Asheville. I was a tad nervous about their apathy and constant negativeness "I dont wanna go" and "That is so stupid"
I kept hammering it in their head that they were the only group here to get invited to go.
They woke up early Saturday without much complaint.. only a few hiccups in the dining hall at breakfast... we piled on the bus and i passed notes like a little 3rd grader to a couple of the boys and we laughed along to funny songs and one of the boys went to the walk with his face made up as the joker. I processed with him for a bit before hand, making sure he knew that there may be social consequences but at the same time he would get a lot of positive attentiona nd pleasant laughter and he would make a lot of poeples day.
He went through with it :) I am proud of him...
The scariest thing though...
was when we were missing one of the boys.. .
it is really scary edging through the crowds of poeple looking for one person who is not there... i saw people laughing.. i saw people talking.. but it was all a big roar of noise in my head.. the faces and bodies moving were all a blur.. and then i found in.. waiting in line for cotton candy... nonchalant.. trying to act cool.. like any 15 year old boy would..
That afternoon, Zack and i had to crack down.. lay down the law.. set some rules:
Instigating others and cursing: 1 warning and then their cd player was taken away (or iPod).. if it happened during meal time they had to pack out (sit outside in silence during the meal) .. if it happened at nighttime or near bedtime they had to sleep outside.
The boys were, as expected, pissed off.. I talked with them about it and they made it clear they were NOT mad at me ("who could be mad at you Penny?") and were instead mad at the camp
Which is perfectly understandable..
They cannot swear (which, for many of them, is their only safe outlet for frustration)... they have to be watched by staff 24/7... they have to do chores (clean toilets, sweep, clean sinks, etc.).. they dont have their moms cooking... they dont have their freinds.. there are no girls (except the 4 girls in another group and then a few staff)... they cannot skateboard.. they cannot take their iPods when they walk places..
everything, so it seems, is taken away from them.. all their choices.. all their freedom.. all their independance.... they are able to earn many privilages though, they have to show that they can handle them and deserve them... which is why i am a little lax on certain things.. i pick my battles... let a few things slide that are not particularly relevant.. give them treats (gummi bear trivia) and make sure i do everything i can to make their time here pleasent.. fun.. and memorable.. even though they are working on hard issues..
we went to the pool. I was out writing dailies.. (letting administration know tidbits of how the kids are acting and behaving or funny stories so that they have things to talk about when they have to talk to the kids parents) and the boys started splashing me.. I quickly put away my papers and got a little closer .. before i knew it i was pushed in the pool.. in my clothes.. for the next half hour, i could not get out of the pool for more than a minute before i was pushed back in by one of the boys.. :) highlight of all of our day...
When i left this morning, 6 of the 8 boys came up to give me a hug goodbye, not wanting me to leave.. saying it wont be as much fun wihtout me..
it was sad.. but sweeet.. it is nice to know that people do look up to you.. it is nice to be a mentor.. a role model.. a source of comfort..