Popcorn Flavors :)
personally.. none of those appeal to me...

BUT

ICE CREAM FLAVORS!!
getting closer...
well.. no none of those either

NOW

Next time i am in NEw York... with a person or three or ten, I will accept the challenge of the VOLCANO!!
i mean LOOK at taht!!
A volcano shaped shell of chocolate.. .break it open and WALLAA!! THERES THE ICE CREAM!!!
and spilling down the sides are white/dark/milk chocoalte pearls, gummi bears,





And wonderful uses for normal everyday items...

The Funeral is on wednesday
Do I go?
Should I go?
Is it disrespectful not to go?
I would like the experience I suppose.. It will be something to do
but
I WILL feel out of place
I WILL feel bored at times..
I WILL not know what to do a LOT of the time..
but Sofia wants me there


SO i went clothes shopping yesterday.. with Sofia and her mother... Craziness.. I couldnt try anything on really because I had to watch Sofia so her mother could look for things for Sofia and her..

SO
Today I went
on the adventure
to the malll...
overwhelming as usual...
the VERY FIRST dress I tried on.. I admit was a tad dressy..
but
ohh
ohh
i felt like I looked beautiful... and might i say.. hott??
But did I buy it? No
I DID put it on hold..
I went around..
everything else was too big.. too small.. too ugly.. didn't fit me right... too fluffy.. too this too that..
I did find one kinda blah thing that is versatile.. a V neck black shirt/dress that I can wear with any color tank top below and any kind of leggings.. boots..heeels.. etc. so It can work for MANY occasions..
PLUS a hat
Shopping and me don't go well
i talk myself out of everything
just like i talk myself out of DOING everything

But I am trying to convince myself that I need to take the time out of my life to go and BUY it.. because EVERY girl needs atleast something in their wardrobe that makes them feel like a princess...

Somday I will get over it
just as
someday
i will learn to feel pretty without the aid of a dress...

Am I ask awkward to others as I am to me?

Do I LOOK as out of place and awkward to others as I do to me?

soo....
trying on clothes for a funeral that I know NO ONE there except my aunt, uncle and cousin...
intimiating...
all of them are Italian.. rich... high up.. sophisticated.. formal..
absolutely the opposite of what i am..
Do i go?
Would it be rude not to go?
I asked my aunt/uncle this plenty of times
same response,
"its up to you"
that does not help..

Pros....
I have never experieinced an Italian Funeral
my first funeral
I will probably meet some cute italians
i will get to buy a new dress
Sofia wants me to
Claudia "considers me part of the family"
I feel obligated to.. out of respect...

Cons...
I have to buy new black clothes..
I will know no one
the ceremoney is in all italian
I dddn;t even meet the lady that did pass away
I dont speak/.understand Italian
I havent been to a funeral
I will feel out of place/uncomfortable.shy/selfaware
I will mis my last opportunity to with my 2nd grade classroom

hmm...whatdo i do..?

Does anyone read this anymore?
I dont think so.
I have been ranting and raving about the same thing over and over and over
and everyone gives me advice... saying it would PROBABLY be best to move on..
part of me kind of wants to.. engage in other pursuits.. see how they treat me.. how they make me feel.
but its so hard to rip myself from part of who i have been for the past 2 years.

I fly out Thursday. I am very excited. VERY excited...
Friday I meet with my academic advisor to convince him that I indeed CAN take 5 classes per semester one of them lasts the WHOLE semester and the other four are half semester (so 2 the first half, 2 the 2nd half)
I am a teachers pet. I LOVE to learn. I put my work first.
heck, I am even doing my own work now
I KNOW i can do it.

Then, Friday I drive to him...
time will tell
i will see for myself what I am getting into..
because going back on Thursday means that I DONT get to go to Seattle (Family) for christmas..
and he doesntknow if he is going to work on Christmas.. if he even really HAS a job...
I dont know why, but i feel like i am holding my breath about the future...


If someones reading this, let me know
give me a song
I want someone to dedicate a song to me '
I am asking for help
and thats not easy for me.

Back to an FML kinba day,, well ,, i guess it started off okay...



.Classic rock at heart, yet I do have another side called Alternative. My charateristics are rock and roll. Folk is when I have something to say; rap is when I have a lot to say. My happiness shines through pop. I laugh and think through country, I cry through the blues, I dance through hip hop, and I sing through opera. Ambient-- my nature, techno-- my craziness, R&B- my relaxation, emo-- Indie is my unheard of nature (and trust me, I am very often unheard). Punk is my rebellious self, which sprung through my deep dark secrets in heavy metal. Acoustic is when I am best heard (and best swooned, soft rock is when I am best known. My confusion and chaos is trance. And if people ever met me, they'd describe me as rhapsody. I can be best heard through my characteristics, acoustic rock; be rebellious from my characteristics, punk rock; and be natural because it's my characteristic, ambient rock.

.....

and i like cheese,,, tooo nuch

I am the music.

EXPERIMENTS!

I have a couple challenge for you all.. LET ME KNOW HOW YOU DO!!

Try nailing jello to the wall...

Toast/Grill a grilled cheese sandwich with an iron....

Fry an egg with pure energy and head from the sun.. either in a wok or a skillet or straight up on the sidewalk....

Put office supplies.. forks.. rubber duckies inside jello

Leave a pop tart on the dashboard of you car during a hot day.. when you come back after a long day of class or a day shopping, will it be nice and toasty for you?

Take a whole container of corn kernels, put it in a hot air popper and let it pop.. how much will pop? Can it fill your entire room?

Take a container of Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Ice Cream and dump it out in a strainer.. let it drain.. and figure out how much cookie dough is actually in the ice cream... Try comparing the consistencies of different brands.. which one has the most cookie dough?

Find out exactly how much whipped cream is in one of those containers... is there a difference between the fat free/light container and the regular container.

Try chewing an entire package of chewing gum at once...

Send airmail.. tie a letter to a balloon.. let it go.. and see if you get a response from whoever finds it! .. similar to putting a message in a bottle in hopes of a response..

Take a box of Honey Bunches of OAts with Almonds and separate them into the different cereal bits.. (frosted flakeys, granola/oat clusters, corn flakeys, almonds, etc.) what are some ratios?

Same experiment as above with Lucky Charms... Are there more marshmallows or more of the other cerealy bits? Which marshmallow is there most of?


--> By the way I have tried many of these.. I recommend them... good tales to tell others... fun times to be had...