do you realize how much time i spend on you?
thinking..
thinking.. who you are with
wondering.. would you leave them to come visit me
hoping.. would you invite me to where you are
dreaming.. would you hold me tonight
wishing.. we could be together tonight
wanting you
and so i wait
phone clutched close
and so i wait
for the magical music that lets me know you care
and so i wait
hoping we have a chance
and so i remember
those nights we had together
and so i remember
the laughter we shared
and so i remember
how i feel when i am with you
and i wait
checking my phone..
hoping for some sign
nothing
and so i wonder
what did i do?
and so i wonder
why don't you want me?
and so i wonder
why i waited
and so i cry
wishing you were here to hold me
and so i cry
knowing that i wont have you
and so i cry
still clutching the phone close to me
and i wait
Sunday, May 4, 2008
=(
Saturday, May 3, 2008
song for the moment
ooohhh.. and by the way...
the song that keeps plating in my head"
Love Song- 311
:] Just what i needed..
Ok scratch that last post.
No more saddies :]
I WENT to that Beetles party and rOCkEd out!!
Thennnnnnnnnn my new friend saved me.. I had the most wonderful time at this new party i went to... very laid back.. fun.. REAL people.. yea sure they were drinking.. but not CRAZY drunk by any means. We had the fire roasting in the back.. jams floating all around.. the sky was slightly lit up in an eerie blue-grey color that is not usually seen at 3 in the morning..
I stayed there
I stayed there ALL NIGHT...
until 9:30 am really.
From about 4 until 9:30 it was simply Kevin and Daniel and I just blabbering around.. moving from the bed to the couch .. watching tv.. talking.. trying to sleep.. talking about pancakes .. listening to the rain splatter against the roof all night-very soothing and calming sound.. seeing the flashes of lightning light up the room like a strobe light followed by the deep roll of thunder..
soo much fun.
that is the kind of night i was looking for.
Beautiful people.. slightly a tad older.. but not much.. so they have gone through their super crazy phase.. much more down to earth and real conversations..
:]
;]
wonderful
Friday, May 2, 2008
blah blah
AHRg
i hate this
Every weekend.
same thing.
7..8..9.. no one.
nothing.
I hear bits and pieces of things that are going on around town.
but no real invitations. No one asking me to come.
I dont even know where these places are.
As outgoing as i may seem.. i could never bring myself to go to one of those parties alone.
So i sit here and marinade in my lonesome thoughts
I close my eyes and drift away to the music
but all that comes to my head are images of my friends
having fun
laughing
dancing
chillin
whatver..
they are together
they are having fun
they have that human connection
they have all of that
I just have my music to keep me company
it isn't enough
as incredibly silly or sappy or dumb as it sounds, some of the songs i hear speak to me..
at the moment..
Vendetta red - Silhouette Serenade
Live- Lightning Crashes
.......and more... but i cant think straight at the moment..
what what?
So..
N64 and Hookah..
WONDERFUL ways to spend time with friends..
groovin with the music in the background.. bonding.. feeling fun.. fighting it out on the tv.. freshly made cookies, brownies, cupcakes, muffins, etc. strewn out on the table for anyone to take at their leisure.. 
Popsicles and pink lemonade for summer fun 
Bubbles and glitter and dresses for playing on the luscious green grassy Quad, letting the warm sun wrap its arms around me 
Magical Dragon Tears that i carry around with me to pass out to others.. expand their minds with the concept and the taste.. dragon tears, as we all know, turn into jellybeans
Skittles.. taste the rainbow.. When you say SKITTLES.. your mouth turns up in a smile :)
That
is why i pass out the skittles..
Oh...
and by the way...
I love who i am when i am with you..
i love the way you make me feel..
please dont give up on me.
you make me feel alive again..
